Idol Headlines ~ 3/31/08

Tickets on Sale for Idol Gives Back

Spoiler - Top 9 Ford Commerical PHOTOS

Former Idols to Appear on "Bones"

Idol Contestant Bound for Broadway?

Elliott Yamin's mother Claudette has just passed away. Claudette was a wonderful woman who was featured on the show throughout season 5 and considered by many to be the favorite contestant mother. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the Yamin family during this difficult time.

Chris Sligh's album "Running Back to You" drops May 6th. His single "Empty Me" is currently #24 on the Billboard Hot Christian songs chart.

Wednesday's results show will feature Dolly Parton singing "Jesus & Gravity" as well as a performance by The Clark Brothers (winners of The Next Great American Band).

Both Kellie Pickler and Chikezie are scheduled to appear on Ellen on 4/2.

Song Spoilers - Dolly Week

Got some possible song spoilers for ya, but they have not been confirmed. These were posted on idolforums.com and the source is claimed to be a radio DJ who received the studio recordings already. A separate list was posted on dialidol.com but is believed to be an April Fool's joke.

Click on the comments to read the more believable of the two lists.

Blake Lewis Spouts off, Does Damage Control & Then Spouts off Again

Who knew last years runner up Blake Lewis was so mouthy? In several recent interviews to promote his new album Audio Day Dream (A.D.D.), Lewis has revealed such honest truths as:

-He was pissed when he found out he'd have to sing "This is My Now" last year because he hates the song.

-He thinks David Archuleta is boring.

-He didn't think Sanjaya should have been on the show at all and that America was ignorant for voting for him.

-David Cook didn't give Blake's friends Doxology props when he chose to do their version of "Elenor Rigby."

While I don't necessarily DISAGREE with any of those statements (save for the last one, since it turned out not to be entirely true) I think BShorty needs to can it before the Arch Angels and Fanjayas corner him in a dark alley.

Apparently he (or perhaps a devoted fan posing as him) started getting a little nervous, because the following was posted on rickey.org in response:

Yooooooo…… This is Blake. I usually never got on these things, but want to clear up some things for you all. first. Sanjaya…. I have nothing against this boy, but on the show I was frustrated at his progression. After being on Tour and finding out hes actually a pretty cool kid changed my opinion. Would I have put him on the show, maybe not. Still love the lil dude.

David, David A. and MR. Eze… Now that I have seen all the new season… as of this week. new light has shined. I found out that David Cook did my Boys Doxologys version of Eleanor Rigby and was stoked, but then he gave them no props. Later to find out he did, but the cut it off the show. He and Eze E and my favorites thus far. Just my Alumni Opinion. Kind of rooting for a dude to win it this year. Although Brooke and Carly are holding it down. David A. is as well, when I called him boring it was just out of the fact that I want this kid to do well. He needs to get out of his box. He clearly has mass talent and a killer voice. I just want to see him out of his comfort zone and to get away from his dad for a minute. His dad is nice, I can just see the pressure. Thats all. I’m not a hater. I’m a huge fan of this year. It was one of the best experiences of my life. Its just really SURREAL watching a show you have never seen, that you were on. if anyone of you at anytime want to contact me. I run my myspace and try and check it everyday. http://www.myspace.com/BlakeLewis

I hope you are all well.

Love and happiness - Blake Lewis

Now of course there's no way to prove that Blake was the one to actually post the above, and there are certainly better PR methods to do damage control. But it is interesting that SINCE the post he's done another interview where he elaborated on the Sanjayagate scandal. This time saying that Sanjaya was a "disrespectful little kid" and that he had to lock him up on the tour bus at one point to teach him a lesson. This time however, the hesitance in his voice is apparent, he's much more cautious with his words and he does try to justify his comments, so it would appear that he's wised up somewhat.

I have a hard time believing that any of this is actually helping his album sales.

I've Been Rejected...

...by Wal-Mart.

I sent them an affiliate application for the sole purpose of promoting David Cook's former band Axium since Wal-Mart downloads is currently the only place to purchase said music.

And those bastards sent me a rejection letter in response. Apparently, in addition to not having enough traffic for them they don't think I'm wholesome enough and that I'm kind of a biotch. At least that's what I gathered from Wal-Mart's List of Reasons Why Not. I'd post it for you, but I deleted the e-mail faster than you could say "sleepingbeauty is TMTH!"

For the record, iTunes accepted me and they're way cooler than Wal-Mart.

Hello Dolly: Song Suggestions/Predictions

Despite several desperate pleas to the AI gods, the theme for the top 9 has been confirmed to be limited to Dolly Parton songs, not just any ole honky tonk badonkadonk. Not sure if they'll be allowed to do songs Dolly merely covered instead of wrote, but I'm *crossing my fingers* and suggesting some anyway. I approached the research aspect of this post like a drive-by: get in, get it done and get the hell out of there. Unfortunately, in this scenario, I am both the shooter and the shoot-ee, as I found myself left behind with self-inflicted gunshot wounds. The doctor is pessimistically optimistic that I will recover, although I won't be out of the woods until after all is said and done next week.

I can't say that I actually WANT to hear any of this stuff but I did my best:

KLC (Who Will Probably Close the Show and Advance to the Next Round Simply Because She is the Resident Country Bumpkin this Year): I see her doing "Islands in the Stream" although a few others have suggested "9 to 5." If she wants to go all-out and pander to middle America again, Dolly has done both "The Star Spangled Banner" and "Go Tell it on the Mountain." The most tolerable song I came across for her is "Wild Flowers." I also think she should wear a ridiculously sparkly Dolly inspired dress, just because.

MJ: Dolly has covered "Crimson and Clover," "She Drives Me Crazy" and "Blowin' in the Wind," and I'm recommending them in that order.

Ramiele: Looks like she and Syesha will be battling it out for "I Will Always Love You," but if she loses the coin toss I suggest "Starting Over Again."

Jason: "But You Know That I Love You" or "Only Dreamin'." (I didn't write down any notes as to why, and I don't dare go back to the scene of the crime to re-listen.)

Syesha: Again, odds are that she'll do the Whitney version of "I Will Always Love You," but if not I recommend "9 to 5" so she can show some personality.

Carly: "Jolene," "Turn, Turn, Turn," "Think About Love" or "Light of a Clear Blue Morning. " In that order.

D-Cook: Alright, well the White Stripes did a cover of "Jolene" so odds are that's what we'll be hearing, but I have a few alternate suggestions: I'd kinda like to see him throw his hat in the ring for "I Will Always Love You" because his rendition would probably be more enjoyable than a diva-fied one. And while I'm normally not one for religious songs, there's a Desperado-esque feeling to "He's Alive" that he might be able to work with. Last but not least there's "Where do the Children Play."

Brooke: I've seen a lot of people suggesting "Jolene" for Brooke which would be fine, but I'd prefer "Here You Come Again" or "Please Don't Stop Loving Me."

Archie: I see him doing "9 to 5" in the same spirit he did "Shop Around." However, if he wants to preach to us again, Dolly did a cover of Elvis's "In the Ghetto." Or perhaps he'll be the one to do "The Star Spangled Banner" or simply resurrect "Imagine" again.

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Agree? Disagree? What would you like to hear?

Results: With Extra Cheese

These results shows are just getting more and more unbearable...and it has nothing to do with having to say goodbye to a contestant. Join me, will you, as I lead us through the latest drawn-out elimination (aka an hour-long preview of what hell is like).

Over 30 million votes were received this week, which is the most so far this season. Former contestants Amy Davis (for the second night in a row), David Hernandez and Danny Noriega are in the audience, but no one seems to care.

Say hi to the top 10, show love to the judges and don't forget to submit your song to the songwriting contest.

Time for what just might be the cheesiest group song in the history of group songs, upon where the top 10 run out on stage to camp it up with "Right Back Where We Started From." Their dancing is extra goofy, however the prize for MOST goofy would have to go to Jason. You know that first time you run into your ex after the breakup and you study them to see how well they're taking it and how good they look? Well, after publicly ending things with Jason the night before, of course he had to decide to get back at me by dressing hot for once. Sigh. Still, my favorite (only) part of this trainwreck was when D-Cook and MJ bumped chests, because at least it was funny.

We get an ad for IGB during the commercial break, and then a thinly-veiled ad for iTunes as they roll footage of the top 10 recording their studio versions of this weeks songs. Next it's recap footage from the night before whereupon we are reminded of Brooke's re-start to her song and some other stuff I couldn't be bothered to jot down.

This week's elimination process is exactly the same as last week -- comfy sofas on one end of the stage, ridiculously uncomfortable b-3 stools on the other, trot the contestants out one by one to learn their fate.

First up is Cheesy, and he's banished to the not fun side of the stage. Then we have Brooke in a WTF? outfit - she's safe, but again unsure as to where exactly she should sit on the couches. Carly's up next, and Ryan wisely takes the opportunity to have her clear up the pregnancy rumors. She's not preggers, and she's not in the b-3 either.

After the break we are subjected to one of the lamest Ford commercials ev-ah. After a LOOOOONG shot of an electric blue Ford Focus, the contestants individually appear Harry Potter style on shirts and CD covers, singing "I Want you to Want Me." It is reminiscent of the billboard video in season 5, but not nearly as good. My guess is that with Easter they didn't have time to do a "real" shoot.

Back to the results. Archie = SAFE. D-Cook = SAFE (oh and Chris Cornell called to say he loved it, BTW - take that haters!) Syesha = B-3 again, sorry. MJ = SAFE.

Time for the latest call-in segment, whereupon Ryan continues to ask Simon questions and ignore half of the contestants. First up is Sarah, who wants to know if Chikezie is single. I'm guessing she's one of the only people who cared to learn the answer, but yes, he is currently "very, very single." Nicole wants to know why Archie chose to sing a song most people had never heard. He already answered this question in the recap footage, but let's hear it again: He is in the minority in that he "loves that song" and it's one of his favorites. Ari wants to know how she can take Seacrest's job. Simon answers, "You don't need a lot of talent." Caitlin wants to know who Brooke would do a duet with. Brooke chooses John Mayer of all people. Vanessa from TX wants to know if Simon considers himself the most attractive person on the show. I think we all know the answer to that one.

Season 2 finalist Kimberley Locke is back to perform her new single "Fall" in a green couture dress which is now being auctioned off for charity and matching eyeshadow. In her lead-in video we learn that she now co-owns a restaurant and has lost 40 pounds. I didn't start watching AI faithfully until season 4, so I've only seen a handful of Kimberley's performances but I can tell you right now...sleepingbeauty is not impressed. Her song is pitchy, her performance stilted, and if she were being judged for real they would have called it "safe." Syesha performed better the night before, and I didn't even really enjoy her number.

Time for IGB plug number 485 out of 976, with multiple shout-outs to Exxon Mobile who is again one of the major sponsors of the event. Last year we raised $76 million (why does Seacrest pronounce "million" like Dr. Evil?) and even though we supposedly already spent $80 million on nets to prevent malaria, somehow there was still money left over to: help with the renovations in New Orleans, put 10,000 kids in Boys & Girls Club programs, provide 120 million meals to hungry people, fund three mobile medical units, provide 21,000 life-saving immunizations, provide books for 13,000 budding readers AND help provide shelter for the victims of the CA fires and TN tornadoes.

And now, your final results. Ramiele is SAFE and it's down to Kristy and Jason. As I predicted, Kristy's pandering to middle-America kept her b-3 free, and it is Castro who makes his maiden voyage to the b-3, but is quickly put out of his misery.

Syesha and Chikezie join hands center stage to learn their fate, and not surprisingly, it is Cheesy who gets the boot. I never truly "got" him but he's a nice guy and I wish him the best. We see his journey video and he reprises "If Only for One Night" complete with the audience-member serenade.

Tune in next week when the top 9 perform songs from the Dolly Parton songbook. That's right--the contestants will NOT be given the usual country theme, but will instead be limited to jingles from Dolly's repertoire. It's been confirmed. I would tell you what I think of this travesty, but there aren't enough hours in the day. After all, I've got to work 9 to 5 just to make a livin'....

Made in the 80's (For the Most Part)

Before we get to the recap, I'd like to take a minute to mention a couple of things...

Season 7 seems to be the year of contestants who can sing but can't necessarily perform/work the stage. Also, more than anything, it seems to be the year of consistency, as the performers seem to stay in their zone week after week:

Jason consistently sticks with mellow songs.

D-Cook consistently chooses to do someone else's cover (and rocks it).

Archie consistently licks his lips and does the passionate singers hand gesture.

Carly consistently rocks out (even though she claims not to be a rock singer).

Etc, etc.

In the past, very few contestants seemed to have stuck with their niche wholeheartedly, week after week, opting not to experiment with guyliner, songs out of their element or simply "giving the audience/judges what they want." Bo Bice was one of them, and he was great until after Idol when they stuck him with an album full of crappy pop tracks that were so not him.

So if things are starting to get a little boring, it's because we already know the score before tuning in -- Brooke will slow down a classic, Michael will park it at the mic stand, Ramiele will do a ballad. I appreciate the fact that the contestants are staying true to themselves, but at the same time I think it's hurting the overall entertainment value of the show. Now if we could just get them to learn how to PERFORM and WORK THE STAGE things would be different, but apparently, singing while walking down stairs is like walking and chewing gum at the same time. At least it is if you're part of, "The. Most. Talented. Season. Ever!" I never thought I'd say this, but there are actually people who could learn something from a Miss Kellie Pickler.

And on that *alarming* note, I digress...

The top 10 perform songs from the year they were born, which means it's 80's week again with two exceptions. I was made in the (early) 80's, how 'bout you?

It seems that after every commercial break AI chooses to further pimp itself or its sponsors--Drink Coke! Watch "'Til Death!" Download iTunes! Enter the Songwriting Contest! Get an iPhone! If I were to do that throughout my post it would look like this: Visit www.hannahshandprints.com! Go Vegetarian! Listen to David Cook's pre-Idol stuff! Vote for my blog! Don't eat at KFC! Whew. Pimpin' ain't easy, ya'll. And it sure ain't very rewarding...unless your name is Nigel.

Ramiele's video package reveals that she used to be a biter, and would steal the mic from whoever had it. Also, Mommy Malubay is still the cutest thing ever. Ramiele's up first with :::gasp::: Heart's "Alone" (aka Carrie Underwood's powerhouse song from season 4 and one of my all-time favorites). I was not impressed with Carly's version of this in H-Wood week, and was nervous for Rami when I heard she'd be doing this, especially since she was going first. Ramiele lost her voice recently, but I thought she sang it very well and would not have noticed if they hadn't mentioned it. The beginning is shaky and one of the backup singers was literally shrieking, but overall it is better than expected. Also, her outfit is an improvement over the usual awful Ramielewear ("snaps for the wardrobe dept!"). B+

It's Jason Castro's 21st birthday, but no one can seem to be bothered to utter a mere "happy b-day" (at least not on camera--I hear the crowd sang to him at rehearsal) let alone grant him time on the chat stools or let him close the show. Sporting the hint of a 'stache (ew!) and another bad outfit, Jay sings Sting's "Fragile." By popular request, he throws in some Spanish, but seems to make even more funny faces when he sings that than he does in French or English. Oh Jason, I'm sorry to have to say this, but you have officially lost me. Things have been rocky between us for the last couple of weeks (seeing as how I've kinda-sorta been interested in another guy and all), and it's come time to say goodbye. Don't worry, things would never have worked out between us--according to astrology.com we have a compatibility rating of NEGATIVE ONE PERCENT (I'm still trying to figure out how that is mathematically possible, but whatevs). For the record, I would have attended your b-day bash had I been invited (even though it would have been kinda awkward with my new man there and all--but more on that later). Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I still love you, I'm just not IN love with you. C-

Syesha used to be a crybaby. She sings Stephanie Mills' "If I Were Your Woman." It's good, but not the super-hot breakout performance the judges try to make it out to be. I prefer her performance on the last day of H-Wood week. A-

Somehow, Chikezie manages to score his second interview with Ry in three weeks, while others like D-Cook and Ramiele have yet to grab a stool. Chi was a Sept. 11th baby and as he mentioned before, grew up listening to Nigerian music. He chooses to slow things down with Luther Vandross's "If Only for One Night" and it's obvious that the reason the judges don't like when he does ballads is because he turns them into a total Cheesefest. He actually resorts to grabbing the hand of an audience member to sing to her (shame on the production assistant who forgot to remind the audience to take off their wristbands!) His voice is smooth like butter but I just can't get on the C-Train...which I predict will soon be leaving the station headed for home (in Cheesy's case: The 'Hood). C+

Brooke has three siblings and a hot mom, and she learned to play the piano by ear. She opts to sing "Every Breath You Take" by the Police (aka "The Stalker Song") while accompanying herself on piano. She half-starts and then starts over again, which is one of the most obvious errors in Idol history. The beginning of the song is slow, mellow, and lovely, and then the band kicks in and it's not as good or centered. I'm told she had to do this twice in rehearsal because the band messed up. And someone please tell me why Brooke's hands have been replaced with those of an 80-year old woman. I agree with Randy and Simon on this one--she should have kept it pure and simple the whole way through like she did with "Let it Be." B+

Michael is very competitive and he and his sister used to exchange "I'm too good for you" looks. He gives us "two Queen songs for the price of one": "We Will Rock You" and "We Are the Champions." It would seem that Michael can only rock Queen songs, which is an odd thing to say since Freddie Mercury is such an untouchable legend, but so far MJ has only truly shined when he's covered them. And I do mean shined--those stage lights were so bright I was pained and would imagine that those in the audience are still seeing spots. Anyway, The Aussie is back and ready for action. A-

:::Breaking news::: Rumor has it that Carly Smithson is preggers. (At the very least, it explains the last-minute bathroom break before her performance.) Carly was the only contestant to go with one of my song suggestions this week--Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Unfortunately she didn't perform as well as I expected, but it was still pretty good. At one point it looked like she was humping the air and she sounded raspy at the end. B+

Archie talks with Ry about prom, and then we see him dance with his older sister in his video. David defies my hope of "Ice, Ice Baby" and sings "You're the Voice" instead. The whole thing is very 1990, which is the whole idea but still bothers me for some reason. While it is "good in parts" (to quote Simon) and he hits some impressive notes, his voice also cracks at one point. C

Kristy's family used to beg her to please stop singing, and now it's America's job. Kristy channels LeeAnn Rimes to sing Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" and it...doesn't suck. It is certainly 100% better than the YOUtube video of her singing this previously. It was also nice to see her with an AMERICAN flag behind her this time instead of a Confederate one. I was saddled with the perfect quote for this performance (monkey in Madagascar saying, "If you have any poo, fling it now!") and am shocked that I won't be able to use it. Mark my words: Kristy will not hit the b-3 this week. A-

For those of you just tuning in, David Cook is my new boyfriend. Actually I'm more of a Billie Jean to him (minus the paternity thing), but that's okay, he...will...be...mine. He sings Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean." (To everyone who wants to bash him for "ripping off" the arrangement: Ryan clearly announced this as the "Chris Cornell version," so shut it.) This performance elevated him to a place no man has gone before...ABOVE Archuleta in the Dial Idol rankings (no. 1 baby!) One of the top two performances of the night, and I'm telling you, if you haven't checked out his pre-Idol stuff yet, you're sorely missing out. David is totally holding back, and is only going to continue to kick ass. A

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B-3 will be: Chikezie, Ramiele and Jason...with Cheesy out the door.

Song Spoilers ~ Songs from Year of Birth

Okay so I was thisclose to getting to go to today's rehearsal. I came across posts from two different girls who had extra tickets, but they had already been given away by the time I responded.

Anyway, I gave them both my advice (read: clap and hand-wave like crazy so that you get asked to stay for the live show) and one of the girls was nice enough to text me with the scoop afterwards. She said she liked everybody today and that they all sang happy birthday to Jason. Haven't talked to the other girl yet, but I'll see if I can get any more behind-the scenes info.

Song choices and performance order is listed in the comments section.

Idol Headlines ~ 3/24/08

How Jason Castro Spent Easter (What we want to know is: Where will he be celebrating his 21st birthday?)

Apparently the theme for next week (top 9) will be country...at least that's when Dolly Parton is scheduled to appear. Also, the theme for Andrew Lloyd-Webber is not quite as broad as we'd hoped--the contestants will be limited to songs ALW composed instead of just any showtunes. Via MJ's blog.

VIDEO: Amanda Overmyer Performs on Regis & Kelly

Phil Stacey Debut CD/Grand Ole Opry

iTunes has re-issued Carly Smithson's studio recording of "Come Together." Via Rickey.org

Kady Malloy to perform at a benefit for cancer on May 9th in Tulsa, OK along with Alaina Whitaker, Drew Popplereiter, Colton Swan and Kyle Ensley. Via Kady's MySpace.

YOUtube Finds

Before they were Idols...

Kristy Lee Cook in a sexually ambigious commercial (Guess she can add "bad actress" to her resume.)

David Cook in a high school production of "Singin' in the Rain" (Vocal control while doing handstands and back handsprings? Now that's talent!)

Ramiele Malubay singing the Filipino National Anthem (So pretty, despite some audio glitches.)

Easter Sunday ~ AI Headlines

Happy Easter, everyone!

Clay Aiken's fourth album, On My Way Here will be released May 6th.

Josiah Leming Signs with Warner Brothers Records

Jordin Sparks Dating a Former Inmate?

Ryan Seacrest is on the cover of Details magazine's April issue

Rumor has it that recently ousted Amanda Overmyer may be playing at the Whisky soon, and has been offered the role of Janis Joplin in a movie. Via votefortheworst.

Wildcard on Tour?

There have been rumors for quite some time of the possibility of having a wildcard pick this season (eliminated season 7 contestant brought back into the game). Now there's a rumor from a very reliable source that the wildcard will actually be for the tour instead of the show, which is actually a great idea. Joesplace, the poster who spoiled the top 50 before the first episode even aired, has posted about this on idolforums.com.

Apparently there will be 5 wildcard contestants and America will vote to see which one will be picked. Logically, the five contestants should be those who made it closest to the top 10 (tour group): Amanda Overmyer, David Hernandez, Danny Noriega, Asia'h Epperson and either Kady Malloy or Luke Menard. American Idol posted a similar poll on its official site recently, which further adds credibility to the claim. Voting and results for the wildcard pick should happen around the time of Idol Gives Back, April 9th.

Who would be your wildcard pick, and who do you think it will end up being? My money's on Noriega.

Song Suggestions: Songs from Year of Birth

Next week's theme has been confirmed by a FOX press release. The top 10 will be singing songs from the year they were born, which basically means it's 80's week again with two exceptions. Coincidentally, they're performing this on Jason Castro's (21st!) birthday. Expect astrological sign info in the contestant videos, 'cuz that's what they did last time.

Here are my suggestions:

Michael (1978): Will Michael resist the urge to sing Queen again? Should he? A quick glance at the list of 1978 hits reveals that MJ could handle pretty much anything on the list (save for the Bee Gees stuff), so his challenge will be picking something memorable that he can connect with. I'm suggesting "Come Sail Away" by STYX or The Commodores "Three Times A Lady."

D-Cook (1982): My top choices are "Hurts so Good" by John Mellencamp, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" and "Jenny (867-5309)." However (as random as it sounds) I think if he wants to slow things down he could slay Willie Nelson's "Always on My Mind" the way he did "Hello."

Brooke (1983): "Back on the Chain Gang" by The Pretenders or The Carpenters' "Rainy Days and Mondays." I'm hoping she doesn't do Stevie Nicks, 'cuz me no likey Stevie Nicks.

Carly (1983): Carly's going to be back with a vengeance after landing in the b-3, and Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" would make for a stellar comeback. Otherwise, "Making Love out of Nothing at All" by Air Supply.

Kristy (1984): Back away from the Cyndi Lauper, Kristy. I freakin' hate Dolly Parton's "Islands in the Stream," which is part of the reason it would be a fitting choice. I could also see her doing a solo version of "Almost Paradise."

Chikezie (1985): "I Feel for You" (Chaka Khan) or "Suddenly" (Billy Ocean).

Jason (1987): U2's "With or Without You" (yes I know it's a stretch vocally), Ben E. King's "Stand by Me" (ahhh...Josiah...) or Chris De Burgh's "Lady in Red." In that order.

Ramiele (1987): I know Rami's going to want the safety of a ballad this week, but none of them jump out at me so instead I'm suggesting Belinda Carlisle's "Heaven is a Place on Earth."

Syesha (1987): While "You Keep Me Hangin' On" is a bit ironic, it's really the only song on the list that suits her, especially compared to my previous suggestion of "Funky Town."

Archuleta (1990): If Archie does MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice or the Humpty Dance I swear I will vote for him. But since that will never happen I am forced to recommend a song I don't agree with a 17-year old singing, by an artist I despise: Michael Bolton's "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You." Oddly enough, I can actually hear him doing "Black Velvet" and doing it well, although it might be too damn edgy for the lil puppy.

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What are your thoughts and suggestions?

Rocker Nurse Rides off into the Sunset

So FOX has a nasty habit of starting the broadcast a lil early in my area. It's been a consistent annoyance this season, and because I was watching the absolutely titillating preview for next week's America's Next Top Model, Ry had already announced the first mentor of the season by the time I switched channels. Fortunately I'm resourceful and can fill in the blanks...

Let's see, I'd wager that there was a little "This. is. American. Idol!" greeting, new credits and a quick hello to the judges before the mentor announcement. Joining us this season will be Dolly Parton (for the ever-present Country theme week), Mariah Carey (iTunes or Billboard top 100's? 90's week? Diva week?), Andrew Lloyd Weber (Showtunes) and Neil Diamond (Songs No One but His Fans Wants to Hear Week). AOL Television previously reported that Jewel, Olivia Newton-John and Carol Bayer Sager would be appearing instead. Humm....curious.

AI Songwriting Competition is on! Make sure you get your entries in my March 25th--This is YOUR now!

Time for another crappy Beatles medley. Guess who gets to kick things off? Pimpchuleta, singing "While My Guitar Gently Weeps." Cook (the one that matters) and Castro then get to duet and it's the highlight of the medley for me for it. Chikezie and Mikey join in and MJ's voice actually sounds powerful when following the Cheez. Girls come out with a little "Here, There and Everywhere" and they all get to sing and prance around the stage except for Amanda, who is sitting on the couches as though she's been forgotten (foreshadowing, anyone?) Oh yeah, and Ramiele's mic doesn't work. I then throw up in my mouth a little when D-Cook (being the gentleman that he is) leads K-Cook by the hand for a little Cook squared action. Then the top 11 form a half-circle to sing "Because" and do the Idol shuffle for "The End." What these medley's need: better choreographers, more rehearsal time, and lots of booze (for those us watching at home).

Then we are tortured again with the recap of the "second dose of the Beatles" (anyone else feel close to OD'ing? Perhaps on purpose to end the agony?) Time to find out who gets to sit on the nice comfy safe couches (aka who is going on the Idols Live! tour this summer), and who will be banished to the other side of the stage and have to sit in the b-3 stools until their butt goes numb. Brooke is the first person to make the top 10 (for those of you with short-term memory: Brooke was also the first female to make the top 12). Carly's up next and...she's NOT sent to join Brooke on the couch (there's your shocker people, it doesn't get much better than this). Archie makes the top 10 (collective "duh!") and so does the Aussie, because he's hot.

After the break, we get to see the behind-the-scenes footage of this week's Ford video, where the contestants were sent to the "middle of nowhere" on a windy day to shoot a video within a video. The top 11 are depicted as making their own black and white flying saucer movie from the 50's, with D-Cook as director, Castro and Archie as stagehands, and the rest as actors with bad hair. The actual commercial (done to the tune of "Should I Stay or Should I Go") isn't as good what precedes it IMO.

Back to the results, in which each contestant is trotted out one by one like show ponies. Cook with Talent: Keep on rockin'. Cook Without: B-3. Castro: In like Flynn. Lullaby: No reason to cry.

Time to answer more viewer questions (or rather, roll-tape of previously recorded footage--which explains the new seating arrangements on the couch for this and the performance that follows). Cheryl Ann from MO wants to know why Simon spends all of his money on cars instead of clothes. Si tells her that's a rude question but that it's because he doesn't have an ego. Jessica from Jersey is dying to know if there will be a sequel to the Simon-Paula liplock shot back in season two. Paula isn't really given the chance to answer, but Simon says yes, he'd consider it, because despite it all, Pauler's actually not half bad. Mary from L.A. asks Rami what the last song she downloaded on her iPod was. Rami giggles and answers, "R. Kelly's 'I'm a Flirt'." Linda, also from L.A. wants to know if Michael's AI experience is everything he hoped for and more. The answer: "Yes, even though I apparently peaked during Hollywood week" (proof that he reads the press about him, LOL).

And, now, a performance by season 5's Kellie Pickler who has "grown in so many ways" (cheap shot, Ry). We see footage of Pickles talking about her USO tour, upcoming sophomore album, working with Rascal Flatts, and of course memorable moments from her time on AI. As it turns out, Pickles is the second highest grossing non-winner or runner up in the history of AI--who knew? Singing her first single "Red High Heels" and dressed to match, Kellie worked the stage, exuded confidence and fully embraced her country twang (with some KLC Crazy Eyes thrown in for good measure). I can't say I actually enjoyed it, but it was preferable to watching this year's blonde country bimbo. It seems our dear Pickles is all growed up.

Idol Gives Back Part Duex is April 9th. Fantasia and Elliott were sent to Angola to deliver bed nets to prevent Malaria, from which 3,000 children die every day. I'm all for this, but either AI's numbers were a little off or I'm worse at math than I think. They said we donated eight million nets last year, which at $10 a pop would be $80 million, however IGB only raised $76 million and some of that was supposed to go towards anti-Malaria pills, after-school programs in the slums, and to help those Appalachian kids who can't read good. Elliott is given the honor of having a newborn baby named after him, as is native custom for babies born when visitors are in their village.

Final results: Syesha - SAFE. Amanda and Chikezie center stage, Token Black Guy to the couch. B-3 huddle together, Irish girl sent back to safety (no one is surprised, but she pretends to be). Either the Rocker Nurse or the Country Fembot is going home. Unfortunately, it's...

...our Harley-ridin', black eyeliner-wearin' rocker chick who is bid adieu--an announcement which actually results in violence from a 7-year old in my living room. Seriously. I had prepared to part ways with Amanda, but like many viewers, I was more disappointed that KLC was safe than anything.

* * *

Tune in next week, when the top 10 take on Songs from the Year of their Birth.

This Time I Can't Let it Be

So, Beatles the Redux just might be the worst performance night in the history of Idol. What in the name of John Lennon happened? I advise you to run and take cover, because my snark gun is fully loaded and things are definitely going to get ugly...

Seacrest is sporting Something About Mary bangs and too much rouge. He announces that we're "back with the Beatles" again this week and that there are 500 people in the audience who are "ready to party." Thankfully, I got to go last week when most of the contestants were actually good.

The top 11 is then awkwardly ushered in pageant-style down the two sets of stairs only to be sent backstage again. All three judges are present and accounted for. Roll tape of Beatles (and enjoy the pleasant singing while it lasts). This week's contestant question is: What is Your Most Memorable Moment on Idol? Anyone else think they could have saved this one until a little later in the season, say when they had more than 4 weeks of moments to choose from?

Amanda's most memorable moment was performing on the big stage for the first time last week, because she's used to rocking out in the back of a flatbed truck. She decides to ignore the more fitting choice of "Helter Skelter" and "throw some black eyeliner" on "Back in the U.S.S.R." She looks like drunken White Trash Britney and sounds even worse. And I'm starting to worry that my daughter might be tone-deaf, because she has declared Amanda her new favorite (sorry Brooke) and deemed this her favorite performance of the night. D

Kristy can't seem to forget being on the bubble more times than not, a place she will soon find herself once again. She joins Ryan on the chat chairs and brings her photo albums, because a picture is worth 1,000 words. She chooses to sing "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" based on the title, because she's a freak who somehow managed to go 24 years without ever hearing the song. She, like Archuleta, seems to think America has amnesia and tries to fool us by saying, "I'm kinda new to this whole Beatles thing" after claiming to have listened to them while growing up only seven moons ago. Kristy wears a ugly dress she borrowed from Pauler's closet and pairs it with some black cowgirl boots to remind us that she's the country girl. Her singing is flat, monotonous and her "performance" even worse. Simon suggests hypnosis (huh?) and Kristy vows that she can blow his socks off. While my mind immediately plummets into the gutter (courtesy of Simon's giant grin), Hannah exclaims, "No--but she can make someone run out of the room!" (Perhaps her hearing is okay after all...) D+

Archuleta's most memorable moments are his highs and lows of Beatles--hitting a home run with "Imagine" and then forgetting the words to "We Can Work it Out." His performance of "The Long and Winding Road" falls somewhere in between. But while the Arch Angels swooned and sighed in relief--poor David will only get a couple of lashings from Papa A. this time, not a full beating--I found the whole thing to be safe, boring and predictable. On top of that, the pitch and tone of his voice did not please my ear (Hannah agrees with "too squeaky"), and it is just not a believable song for a sheltered 17-year old virgin. C+

Mikey Kangaroo wants to remind us of his killer performance of "Bohemian Rhapsody" during H-Wood week, because it's the only reason some of us are still voting for him. Although he and other's have already proven it's possible to take a long-story song and turn it into an Idol hit with BR, "A Day in the Life" proves to be more of a challenge...for MJ. Me, I could have done a better arrangement (and I have zero experience with that sort of thing), but I know enough to know that featuring a long interlude of "ah-ah-ah-ah's" when you're pressed for time is moronic. The beginning of the song showed mad potential--he actually sounded exactly like the original--and then the train quickly derailed, crashed and burned. Had he figured out a decent arrangement this could have been a success, as his voice is well-suited to the song. Paula tries to make excuses for the Aussie, explaining the difficulties of getting used to an earpiece, only Michael isn't wearing one. D+

Sunshine tells us that she got to have some family time this past weekend and meet her 5-week old niece. Her most memorable moment was last week's emotional performance of "Let it Be," which the producers wouldn't let her sing again. Instead she sings "Here Comes the Sun" and not since Jordin's rendition of "Livin' on a Prayer" has one of my song suggestions backfired so badly. I neglected to take into account the fact that it has about three notes, and just saw it as something with Brooke's name written all over it. (For the record, my first choice for her was the similarly-titled "I'll Follow the Sun" which I believe would have been much better.) Her performance is altogether awkward and lackluster, and I am distracted by the bangs in her eyes and Katharine McPhee banana dress. Brooke actually interrupts Simon's rant to say that it's okay if he bags on her. C-

D-Cook's most memorable moment was when he first laid eyes on me last Tuesday (I believe the word he used was "euphoric"). He listened to me and went with "Day Tripper" and wisely credited the arrangement to Whitesnake, after being accused of ripping off other band's arrangements two weeks in a row. He learned how to use a voice box yesterday and rocked it in front of 30 million people today, because that's how he rolls. This was my favorite performance of the night by a f'n mile. And for those of you who aren't in the know, the orange wristband he wore two weeks running is in support of 7-year old Lindsay Rose who has leukemia and is the daughter of a reporter who recently interviewed him. A

After the break we get to hear a bit of Simon-inspired Paula blather regarding sparrows and oil. Carly is up next with "Blackbird" and is still reveling in Simon's Kelly Clarkson comparison comments. "Blackbird" is one of my favorite ballads, and Carly took a chainsaw to it and hacked it to bits. Her upper register (which is even more prominent in her studio recordings) is completely absent due to the fact that the entire song is done in too low of a key. She then goes on to talk about broken wings (which makes me think of the horrors that go on behind the scenes at KFC - again, please do not eat there). D+

Castro is most happy with his groundbreaking performance of "Hallelujah" even though he admits he botched the final note. He makes me scream in horror by choosing "Michelle" which just so happens to be the Beatles song Sanjaya said he would have picked and one of my least favorites. Seriously, tell me that "ME-shell, my Belle" is not one of the corniest lyrics ever. Just try. Jason learned a little French for this, and the first line he does in French is kinda hot (Dreadheads have been hoping for a lil Spanish at some point during the competition, so I'm sure they're over the moon with FRENCH). Just when I began thanking the heavens that at least he wasn't be-bopping around the stage--he began to be-bop around the stage. Jason's alleged secret girlfriend can be seen in the audience, although she was named after a different song (which Jason could sing should they do a Barry Manilow theme.) And I can't hold my tongue regarding his wardrobe choices any longer, as they are only getting worse (too much time with Malubay, I'd wager). D

Syesha says hi to her family, who is in the audience for the first time. She hasn't forgotten her recent visit to the b-3, which she's hoping will prove to be the kick in the pants she needed to step up her game. She chooses to sing the most covered song in history "Scrambled Eggs"--sorry, "Yesterday" while sporting watermelon earrings and a Nadia Turner-style dress (with ample cleavage I don't think any of us realized she had). She shows some emotion and it sounds pretty good, at least compared to the vast amount of suckage that came before her. Oh and girl, don't ever straighten your hair again. B

Apparently last week's victory lap wasn't Chikezie's first--he did the same thing during H-Wood week. The Cheez opts to dress normal for once and sing "I've Just Seen a Face." The beginning has a nice, mellow R&B vibe and for a minute I'm thinking of Usher and enjoying it. Then he suddenly whips out a harmonica and dips into a wack folksy bluegrass style again. I'm starting to wonder if the boy might be schizo. Had he kept the R&B style the whole way thorough this could have been an A, but as it stands it's a C+.

Lullaby's unforgettable moments are the ones she's had with her fellow contestants, who she's "stuck with...in a good way." She's shown with "Mama Brooke" and "Big Brother" David C., but curiously there is no mention of Castro, who is believed to be her closest friend since Danny's departure, and possibly even more than friends. Predictably, she goes with an uptempo song to counteract last week's sleeper--"I Should Have Known Better." With the exception of some impressive notes here and there, this is total karaoke and not a closer. Rami needs coaching on how to work the stage and don't get me started on her complete lack of fashion sense. C+

Bottom three prediction: Amanda, Kristy and either Chikezie or Michael.

Song Spoilers - Beatles the Redux

For those of you like me who are on the West Coast, you can find song spoilers in the comments section.

St. Patrick's Day ~ AI Headlines

Mariah Carey to Appear on Idol

Kellie Pickler to Perform "Red High Heels" on Wednesday's Results Show

Spotted: Jason Castro, dining at Geisha House on Hollywood Blvd. with five friends last Thursday around 11 p.m. (Source: My friend, who was two tables over!)

Danny Noriega Cruising with Rosie O'Donnell

Cryin' Ashley to Return to Audience

Kimberley Locke to perform her new single "Fall" on the Top Ten Results show March 26th. (Via her MySpace.)

Fergie & Heart to Sing "Barracuda" on Idol Gives Back

Eliminated Idol Wants to be a Spokesperson for Gay Rights (it's not who you think...)

David Cook: Pre-Idol Music

David Cook formed a band called Axium his junior year of highschool and was the band's lead singer and guitarist from 1999 until 2006. Axium recorded four albums---Matter of Time (2002), Blindsided (2003), Alive in Tulsa (2004) and The Story Thus Far (2004). In 2006, after the breakup of Axium, Cook relocated and joined the regional touring band Midwest Kings, playing guitar and singing backup vocals. Also in 2006, he released an independent album titled Analog Heart, in which he penned all of the songs. He was in the process of recording a second solo album before becoming a contestant on American Idol season 7.

Very few of these songs can be found online at this time due to the AI rules and regulations, but one of David's fan sites got a ahold of his pre-Idol music and have been posting songs on a weekly basis. I was not a fan of David's until I heard these songs last weekend.

You may have noticed the initials "AC" on David's electric guitar on the show. They stand for Adam Cook, David's older brother who has a form of terminal cancer. David wrote the song AC after his brother was diagnosed. So if you're going to listen to only ONE song, listen to AC.

Here are my favorites so far:

(Click to listen, right-click to save)

Silver - Analog Heart

Let Go - Analog Heart

Don’t Say A Word - Analog Heart

Fall Back Into Me - Analog Heart

AC - The Story Thus Far (Axium)

Want to hear more of David's pre-Idol music? Click here

In Honor of Beatles Week...

They say the talent keeps getting younger every year...

Idolmania: What's a Cynic Like Me Doing in the Front Row?

Okay, so I promised I'd give some more insight and details of my up close and personal AI experience, so here we go:

As with virtually every other major event in my life (I say "major" only because it was my TV debut), this whole thing was a total fluke. I've been on the wait-list for AI tickets for three years and never gotten called. Around 11 pm on Monday night I went over to idolforums.com to look for song spoilers and just happened to come across a post where someone had three extra tickets to the dress rehearsal the next day. There were three comments, and so I thought I'd just missed the opportunity, but decided to check just in case. Well it turned out that all three commenters were merely saying that they wished they lived in LA so that they could come, and the tickets were still up for grabs. I frantically e-mailed the poster and tried to get in touch with my friends/family who might be interested in going with (none of them were able to go because it was so last minute). Kat, the poster, was in the same boat which is why she had extra tickets. I could tell by her profile that she was totally cool and that we were like-minded in terms of the contestants, so I had no worries about going with a stranger. She had been to lots of tapings before and was able to give me advice. I was scheduled to work that day, but Tuesday just happens to be my most flexible day.

Even though AI is a FOX production, it's filmed at CBS studios, which is on Beverly in Hollywood. I arrived at noon (the call was at 12:30) because I decided I should make an appearance at work first. Kat had been in line since 11 and they had already numbered her, so I had to go to the end of the line but it wasn't very long and she graciously saved me a seat in the holding area. There is a dress code (no T-shirts, no flip-flops, no white tops, dark clothing preferred, no logos, dress like you're going to a nice dinner), but they didn't seem to enforce it for the dress rehearsal audience (not sure about for the taping as I didn't have to go through the line again nor did I particularly pay much attention to the new people who were ushered in unless they were sitting in the contestants' family section).

No cameras are allowed (which sucks because I could have gotten some really great shots), and they confiscated our cell phones and made us walk through metal detectors. We did not, however, have to sign a confidentiality contract as I had thought, so I was all ready to race home and post spoilers after the rehearsal. There are benches in the holding area which is nice because it was the only time we were able to sit during the seven hours I was there. I was told that "bench one" is typically reserved for cute girls who are dressed nice so that they can be ushered in first and placed up front for the cameras. We were on bench one.

Walking into the studio was a rush because we knew we were the first group to see the new stage. At first we were going to be right in front of the stairs on stage right (near the chat stools) but after a few minutes they moved us down the line until we were dead center. We were literally balancing on the pile of cable cords that runs down the center of the floor (thank God I decided against heels, because it was uncomfortable and challenging enough in flats). Debbie the stage manager was on stage calling the shots and informed us that Ryan hadn't even seen the new set yet. The judging table was no more than six feet behind me and they left the space between us empty so that the camera men could get through easily, which meant that aside from the cable cord thing, we really did have the best spot in the house. We were asked to place our purses on the floor and given instructions to clap with fast songs and do the hand-wave to slow songs and really show the contestants love because it was their first time on the new stage.

Ryan came out in a NYPD baseball cap, jeans and a fleece hoodie along with his infamous Blackberry. Surprisingly, he was EXTREMELY cool. He joked around with everyone, familiarized himself with the stage and came off as a laid-back and crowd-friendly. He joked that he wanted to put the old set in his backyard because it would be great for birthday parties. At one point he pretended like he was going to kick me in the head (don't remember what that was about, but I didn't take it personally). Even though it's a dress rehearsal, he doesn't change because he's not on camera at any point during it.

They actually have look-a-like sit-ins for the judges during the rehearsal, because that's when the re-cap is filmed and you see the backs of their heads. The fake Paula wore a wig haphazardly, and Ryan made a joke about it. I had been told that there would be fake judges, but I wasn't expecting them to actually talk. In order to help estimate the time, the fake judges are consulted after each performance and actually try to talk like Randy ("Yo Dawg, what up") and Paula ("You look so beautiful tonight"). The Simon guy sucks at his job because he doesn't say anything Simon would say (I'm sure he's not allowed to be critical, lest he discourage the contestants, who actually have to stand there and take the fake critique).

They didn't start the actual rehearsal until around 1:20, and were a little stressed about having to go live at 5 when they were running behind schedule and still adjusting to the new set and all. Ryan ran through his whole intro, but he did it in such an off-the-cuff way that I didn't realize he was reciting his real lines until the live taping. The new credits were not shown on the screen, but the Beatles video and all of the contestants' videos were. We were instructed NOT to cheer/applaud for "This. is. American. Idol!" but to wait for the part about the new set which was weird.

When the screen parted and the top 12 walked out it was sensory overload, like opening all of your Christmas presents at once. I thought the sign-wielding Archuleta Army might have a collective heart attack. As the contestants were being shuffled off stage, the girl next to me joined in all of the screaming for Wonderboy and he shyly turned around to wave. Then another girl in the "mosh pit" yelled out "David COOK!" to which he responded, "Finally! One person!" As they made their way backstage, D-Cook politely ushered everyone with the hand-on-the-back gesture so that they walked front of him. Then they made them come out and do it all again, and it wasn't nearly as exciting.

At the end of the rehearsal, Kat and I (as well as maybe 8-10 others) were invited back to the live taping, and asked to go to the holding area. We weren't sure if they were going to put us in the same spot or not, but they did. I found it extremely ironic that they would choose me for a number of reasons. Not only do I have a snarky blog that I'm just waiting to be harassed about taking down, but I am a single mom who is older than all but one of the contestants, I do not care for The Chosen One and am completely against the hand-wave. I also think that after already having to stand for two hours (not to mention the time in line), they'd want people on camera who are fresh and have more energy. The girl next to me could be the poster child of AI audience members--teenage, tall, blonde, Archuleta-loving, overenthusiastic--but I look younger than I am and dressed the part, so I got in. Kat is as equally cute yet cynical as I, and wanted to be the only person shown on camera frowning and clapping half-heartedly for Archuleta.

Anyway, rather than go through the whole rehearsal piece by piece and then do the same thing for the live taping, I'm just going to combine things. I've already mentioned some stuff in this post so I will try not to repeat myself too much, and I promise not to point out EVERY time I'm shown on TV lest I come off as being more obnoxious than I am already.

Between the time the rehearsal ended and the live taping started, we got to see some of the contestant's family members arrive (D-Cook's brother Andrew, Jason's brother Michael, and Brooke's husband). Once we were ushered back into the studio I spent the majority of the 45 minutes or so before it started debating whether or not I should approach any of them. I decided against it, for fear of losing my spot and/or appearing tacky. Same goes for the judges. They were RIGHT THERE and we weren't told that we couldn't talk to them, but what the heck was I supposed to say? What if merely approaching their table pissed off security and I got thrown out? The judges did go in and out during the commercial breaks, and Paula (who was extremely glassy-eyed BTW), tripped up the stairs on one return and then turned to Randy embarrassed and told him what had happened. At one point I turned around and it looked like Simon might have been talking about me--he made eye contact, stopped talking abruptly, and then looked away as though he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Nigel came out and welcomed the "real" audience and mentioned that the contestants had a short list of songs to choose from. There was a guy in charge of warming up the crowd and keeping up our energy during commercial breaks, and he was passing out iTunes gift cards worth 10 free downloads and Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul books to the best audience members. Sorry buddy, but it takes more than $10 worth of merch to get me to roll over and beg (or in this case, clap and hand-wave like there's no tomorrow). Predictably, my hyperactive blonde neighbor got a giftcard (and even though she kept trying to edge me out and block my face with her ridiculously long arms, girl deserved it).

I was glad to hear that Syesha (formerly known as Smirkado) was up first because I didn't like her personality and we all know that going first is the kiss of death. I was prepared to scowl at her if she was as annoying as usual, and surprised to find that she was completely different in person. A little nervous, definitely, but not smug and actually somewhat likeable. She actually made me laugh during the fake judging because she was camping it up with her reactions. It was at this point I began to worry that my up close experience with the contestants would take the snark out of my sails forever...

Chikezie had a perma-grin and seemed a little embarrassed about being interviewed. All of the interviews in rehearsal are not the real ones shown on TV. Because the musicians set up on the stairs our row got pushed down a bit. We honestly didn't know what to think of Chikezie's performance in rehearsal, since it was so different. The fact that he was going second and was such an underdog for the top 12 lead us to believe that it wasn't going to be well-received. So during the actual thing when he amped up his energy level and the judges praised him to the sky it was a surprise, as was the Cuba Gooding, Jr.-eque victory lap and Seacrest flicking Chikezie's sweat on us. Also, I didn't see that his mom was in the audience until I saw it on TV, and I wish I had.

I was so happy to see that Ramiele dressed up, and I liked her backwards-stair entrance. She is just like a little doll, and had black toenail polish to match her dress. After her performance in rehearsal, Nigel took her aside and gave her what appeared to be a pretty stern (and quite long) tongue-lashing. Therefore, we expected things to be a little different the second time around, but Ramiele lullabied exactly the same way.

Kat and I were both most excited to see Jason. In rehearsal he did a bit of voice warm ups while tuning his guitar and for a second he looked scared as though he had forgotten the chords/lyrics. When the contestants were waiting in the wings for the live show to start, Jason appeared to be the most excited/energetic because he kept peeking out, and at one point he waved at us. Then when they were counting down to his video I thought, "Oh no, he's going to think they're cueing him to play" and he did! He sort of half-started and then said, "Oops! Not yet." And I might have been the only person to notice this due to my position, but boy had serious case of moose knuckle while seated.

We were annoyed because out of all of the contestants, Jason was the only one they made us back up two feet for so that they could swoop the camera around him--both times. The swooping however did result in us being on camera more though. One of my co-workers was laughing at the parts where it looks like I'm standing there mesmerized by him (about 0:19 and 0:40 in the vid), but in actuality I think I was just waiting for them to give me the go-ahead to move back up the two feet and wondering how some people could actually mistake "If I Fell" for a song they should clap on.

Carly totally nailed her performance in rehearsals, and while I felt she did equally good the second time around, when I watched back on TV it didn't feel as if it translated quite as well. It really was smokin' hot in person, although she was in serious need of a pedicure. Again, I'm probably the only person who saw this, but underneath her black tights and open-toed shoes lay some very gnarly toenails. Nigel went up on stage to congratulate her afterwards (or perhaps just to further fuel the conspiracy theories--for all I know they were talking about toe jam football).

Click here to read the rest...

Idolmania - Part 2 of My Front-Row Experience

Continued from Idolmania: What's A Cynic Like Me Doing in the Front Row?

The Word Nerd won me over last week when I finally took the time to listen to his pre-Idol stuff. Jason's still my overall favorite, but as an artist I prefer D-Cook's type of music. I started out hating him, thinking he was just another Daughtry wannabe with weird hair to boot. Never did I imagine that within a few short weeks I'd find myself flirting with him on national television. Okay, so maybe the flirting didn't take place on camera exactly, but close enough. When he was waiting around for his cue during rehearsal no one seemed to be paying any attention so I decided to capitalize on this and leaned forward and waved until he waved back. From then on he acted a little interested and I couldn't help but half-wonder if he was the reason I was invited back, because the looks continued during the live show and he didn't seem surprised to see me back for round two. And ladies...his boots were GINORMOUS.



The light show truly was painfully bright, which is part of the reason I didn't enjoy the actual performance as much as most people at home seemed to. Kat turned to me and said, "time to get blinded again." The only upside of this was that it made us more visible. My face can be seen during Paula's "frontman" comment (4:01), and there are lots of shots of my back throughout.

Brooke White is my daughter's favorite, but until now I didn't see her as anything special. She really came off as being as super sweet as she's been depicted on TV, and has this angelic glow about her. She did some voice warm ups while she tuned the piano in rehearsal, and kicked off one shoe to play both times. I figured she'd just take them both off after seeing that it was going to be too tough to put the one back on quickly and gracefully (she held them in her hands during the fake judging), and when Ryan brought them over to her during the live show she kinda looked down at them not sure how to proceed. Unlike Gnarly Carly, Brooke had a pedicure recently and was sporting a peachy pink shade of polish.



Due to the angle of the piano, we could only see the top of her head during the performance, but there are shots of me (resentfully) doing the hand-wave (1:11) and looking at her during judging (3:05) because of the tears.

Hernandez had a lot of nervous energy and came off as the most vulnerable and eager to please. He was chugging a mini Dasani both times right before his song, and there was a production assistant waiting at his side to take the bottle when the time came, which looked funny. We cringed during his video when he announced his song choice, did a random Derek Zoolander impression ("Beatles 101 class") and of course made the "PIZZA BISTRO" comments. When the judges commented that he overdid it I was surprised because his performance was wayyyyyy more campy and obnoxious in rehearsal (he got a talking-to from Nigel), but now I see that they meant vocally.

Despite having the cheapest looking weave in AI history, Amanda is actually really beautiful and has perfect skin. She was also very cool to the crowd, who cheered like she was the second coming. Out of everyone, seeing her in person improved my opinion of her the most. I didn't know Taye Diggs was in the audience until I saw it on TV, although I do remember hearing his name mentioned.

As I mentioned in my review, I gave Michael a thumbs up when he said he would be singing "Across the Universe" in his video, and I received an odd look in response. I now think it's because I didn't hear the part where he went on to say that the song helped him through a painful family experience.

There I am doing a one arm hand-wave (1:40) and you can see my face a couple of times during judging (4:00, 4:38).

I had the hardest time clapping and smiling for Kristy, and I'm sure you all know why. Still, when someone is drowning right in front of you, it's hard not to toss them a life preserver, even if you don't particularly want them to catch it.

My feelings were a little different about having front-row tickets to see The Chosen One take the fall. Again, he did not forget the words during rehearsal, but it was never good. When I found a spoiler that said he'd be doing the Stevie Wonder version of "We Can Work it Out" I thought it was probably fake, because it just didn't seem like a good choice. I can't hate the poor kid, but I refuse to give into the hype.

When they rolled the re-cap at the end I could see the back of my head on the screen at the same time the East coast was seeing it (not that I think any of them were paying attention to the back of my head, mind you) and it was just weird.



At the end of the show we were told to stay put for something "very special." This ended up being footage for the results show--the taping of the top 12 lined up while we cheered, then the six guys and the six girls. Once again we were blinded by the stage lights.

I left the studio at 7:15 pm, but between traffic and stopping to pick up my daughter I didn't get home until 8:30, so I missed the beginning of the show and still have not seen the parts which cannot be found on YOUtube. (Must. Get. TiVo.)

My daughter was proud to see her mama on TV. Lately she's been annoyed with AI because she says I "talk about it too much" (LOL) but she said she'd watch just to see me and told her whole class that I was on American Idol.

People keep asking me if I'd go again if given the chance. My answer is yes, even though it involves several aspects of my idea of hell--like being crushed by the Archuleta Army, subjected to Simon's critical eye and of course, being forced to hand-wave.