The Return of Kevin "Chicken Little" Covais...

Season 5's Kevin Covais stars in the upcoming movie College, his very own American Pie/Roadtrip/Superbad type teenage party movie. This may actually be funnier than his "rapping" on Paris "Princess P" Bennett's album. (Just kidding...NOTHING could be funnier than his "rapping" on Paris "Princess P" Bennett's album.)

Idolmania: What's a Cynic Like Me Doing in the Front Row?

Okay, so I promised I'd give some more insight and details of my up close and personal AI experience, so here we go:

As with virtually every other major event in my life (I say "major" only because it was my TV debut), this whole thing was a total fluke. I've been on the wait-list for AI tickets for three years and never gotten called. Around 11 pm on Monday night I went over to idolforums.com to look for song spoilers and just happened to come across a post where someone had three extra tickets to the dress rehearsal the next day. There were three comments, and so I thought I'd just missed the opportunity, but decided to check just in case. Well it turned out that all three commenters were merely saying that they wished they lived in LA so that they could come, and the tickets were still up for grabs. I frantically e-mailed the poster and tried to get in touch with my friends/family who might be interested in going with (none of them were able to go because it was so last minute). Kat, the poster, was in the same boat which is why she had extra tickets. I could tell by her profile that she was totally cool and that we were like-minded in terms of the contestants, so I had no worries about going with a stranger. She had been to lots of tapings before and was able to give me advice. I was scheduled to work that day, but Tuesday just happens to be my most flexible day.

Even though AI is a FOX production, it's filmed at CBS studios, which is on Beverly in Hollywood. I arrived at noon (the call was at 12:30) because I decided I should make an appearance at work first. Kat had been in line since 11 and they had already numbered her, so I had to go to the end of the line but it wasn't very long and she graciously saved me a seat in the holding area. There is a dress code (no T-shirts, no flip-flops, no white tops, dark clothing preferred, no logos, dress like you're going to a nice dinner), but they didn't seem to enforce it for the dress rehearsal audience (not sure about for the taping as I didn't have to go through the line again nor did I particularly pay much attention to the new people who were ushered in unless they were sitting in the contestants' family section).

No cameras are allowed (which sucks because I could have gotten some really great shots), and they confiscated our cell phones and made us walk through metal detectors. We did not, however, have to sign a confidentiality contract as I had thought, so I was all ready to race home and post spoilers after the rehearsal. There are benches in the holding area which is nice because it was the only time we were able to sit during the seven hours I was there. I was told that "bench one" is typically reserved for cute girls who are dressed nice so that they can be ushered in first and placed up front for the cameras. We were on bench one.

Walking into the studio was a rush because we knew we were the first group to see the new stage. At first we were going to be right in front of the stairs on stage right (near the chat stools) but after a few minutes they moved us down the line until we were dead center. We were literally balancing on the pile of cable cords that runs down the center of the floor (thank God I decided against heels, because it was uncomfortable and challenging enough in flats). Debbie the stage manager was on stage calling the shots and informed us that Ryan hadn't even seen the new set yet. The judging table was no more than six feet behind me and they left the space between us empty so that the camera men could get through easily, which meant that aside from the cable cord thing, we really did have the best spot in the house. We were asked to place our purses on the floor and given instructions to clap with fast songs and do the hand-wave to slow songs and really show the contestants love because it was their first time on the new stage.

Ryan came out in a NYPD baseball cap, jeans and a fleece hoodie along with his infamous Blackberry. Surprisingly, he was EXTREMELY cool. He joked around with everyone, familiarized himself with the stage and came off as a laid-back and crowd-friendly. He joked that he wanted to put the old set in his backyard because it would be great for birthday parties. At one point he pretended like he was going to kick me in the head (don't remember what that was about, but I didn't take it personally). Even though it's a dress rehearsal, he doesn't change because he's not on camera at any point during it.

They actually have look-a-like sit-ins for the judges during the rehearsal, because that's when the re-cap is filmed and you see the backs of their heads. The fake Paula wore a wig haphazardly, and Ryan made a joke about it. I had been told that there would be fake judges, but I wasn't expecting them to actually talk. In order to help estimate the time, the fake judges are consulted after each performance and actually try to talk like Randy ("Yo Dawg, what up") and Paula ("You look so beautiful tonight"). The Simon guy sucks at his job because he doesn't say anything Simon would say (I'm sure he's not allowed to be critical, lest he discourage the contestants, who actually have to stand there and take the fake critique).

They didn't start the actual rehearsal until around 1:20, and were a little stressed about having to go live at 5 when they were running behind schedule and still adjusting to the new set and all. Ryan ran through his whole intro, but he did it in such an off-the-cuff way that I didn't realize he was reciting his real lines until the live taping. The new credits were not shown on the screen, but the Beatles video and all of the contestants' videos were. We were instructed NOT to cheer/applaud for "This. is. American. Idol!" but to wait for the part about the new set which was weird.

When the screen parted and the top 12 walked out it was sensory overload, like opening all of your Christmas presents at once. I thought the sign-wielding Archuleta Army might have a collective heart attack. As the contestants were being shuffled off stage, the girl next to me joined in all of the screaming for Wonderboy and he shyly turned around to wave. Then another girl in the "mosh pit" yelled out "David COOK!" to which he responded, "Finally! One person!" As they made their way backstage, D-Cook politely ushered everyone with the hand-on-the-back gesture so that they walked front of him. Then they made them come out and do it all again, and it wasn't nearly as exciting.

At the end of the rehearsal, Kat and I (as well as maybe 8-10 others) were invited back to the live taping, and asked to go to the holding area. We weren't sure if they were going to put us in the same spot or not, but they did. I found it extremely ironic that they would choose me for a number of reasons. Not only do I have a snarky blog that I'm just waiting to be harassed about taking down, but I am a single mom who is older than all but one of the contestants, I do not care for The Chosen One and am completely against the hand-wave. I also think that after already having to stand for two hours (not to mention the time in line), they'd want people on camera who are fresh and have more energy. The girl next to me could be the poster child of AI audience members--teenage, tall, blonde, Archuleta-loving, overenthusiastic--but I look younger than I am and dressed the part, so I got in. Kat is as equally cute yet cynical as I, and wanted to be the only person shown on camera frowning and clapping half-heartedly for Archuleta.

Anyway, rather than go through the whole rehearsal piece by piece and then do the same thing for the live taping, I'm just going to combine things. I've already mentioned some stuff in this post so I will try not to repeat myself too much, and I promise not to point out EVERY time I'm shown on TV lest I come off as being more obnoxious than I am already.

Between the time the rehearsal ended and the live taping started, we got to see some of the contestant's family members arrive (D-Cook's brother Andrew, Jason's brother Michael, and Brooke's husband). Once we were ushered back into the studio I spent the majority of the 45 minutes or so before it started debating whether or not I should approach any of them. I decided against it, for fear of losing my spot and/or appearing tacky. Same goes for the judges. They were RIGHT THERE and we weren't told that we couldn't talk to them, but what the heck was I supposed to say? What if merely approaching their table pissed off security and I got thrown out? The judges did go in and out during the commercial breaks, and Paula (who was extremely glassy-eyed BTW), tripped up the stairs on one return and then turned to Randy embarrassed and told him what had happened. At one point I turned around and it looked like Simon might have been talking about me--he made eye contact, stopped talking abruptly, and then looked away as though he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Nigel came out and welcomed the "real" audience and mentioned that the contestants had a short list of songs to choose from. There was a guy in charge of warming up the crowd and keeping up our energy during commercial breaks, and he was passing out iTunes gift cards worth 10 free downloads and Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul books to the best audience members. Sorry buddy, but it takes more than $10 worth of merch to get me to roll over and beg (or in this case, clap and hand-wave like there's no tomorrow). Predictably, my hyperactive blonde neighbor got a giftcard (and even though she kept trying to edge me out and block my face with her ridiculously long arms, girl deserved it).

I was glad to hear that Syesha (formerly known as Smirkado) was up first because I didn't like her personality and we all know that going first is the kiss of death. I was prepared to scowl at her if she was as annoying as usual, and surprised to find that she was completely different in person. A little nervous, definitely, but not smug and actually somewhat likeable. She actually made me laugh during the fake judging because she was camping it up with her reactions. It was at this point I began to worry that my up close experience with the contestants would take the snark out of my sails forever...

Chikezie had a perma-grin and seemed a little embarrassed about being interviewed. All of the interviews in rehearsal are not the real ones shown on TV. Because the musicians set up on the stairs our row got pushed down a bit. We honestly didn't know what to think of Chikezie's performance in rehearsal, since it was so different. The fact that he was going second and was such an underdog for the top 12 lead us to believe that it wasn't going to be well-received. So during the actual thing when he amped up his energy level and the judges praised him to the sky it was a surprise, as was the Cuba Gooding, Jr.-eque victory lap and Seacrest flicking Chikezie's sweat on us. Also, I didn't see that his mom was in the audience until I saw it on TV, and I wish I had.

I was so happy to see that Ramiele dressed up, and I liked her backwards-stair entrance. She is just like a little doll, and had black toenail polish to match her dress. After her performance in rehearsal, Nigel took her aside and gave her what appeared to be a pretty stern (and quite long) tongue-lashing. Therefore, we expected things to be a little different the second time around, but Ramiele lullabied exactly the same way.

Kat and I were both most excited to see Jason. In rehearsal he did a bit of voice warm ups while tuning his guitar and for a second he looked scared as though he had forgotten the chords/lyrics. When the contestants were waiting in the wings for the live show to start, Jason appeared to be the most excited/energetic because he kept peeking out, and at one point he waved at us. Then when they were counting down to his video I thought, "Oh no, he's going to think they're cueing him to play" and he did! He sort of half-started and then said, "Oops! Not yet." And I might have been the only person to notice this due to my position, but boy had serious case of moose knuckle while seated.

We were annoyed because out of all of the contestants, Jason was the only one they made us back up two feet for so that they could swoop the camera around him--both times. The swooping however did result in us being on camera more though. One of my co-workers was laughing at the parts where it looks like I'm standing there mesmerized by him (about 0:19 and 0:40 in the vid), but in actuality I think I was just waiting for them to give me the go-ahead to move back up the two feet and wondering how some people could actually mistake "If I Fell" for a song they should clap on.

Carly totally nailed her performance in rehearsals, and while I felt she did equally good the second time around, when I watched back on TV it didn't feel as if it translated quite as well. It really was smokin' hot in person, although she was in serious need of a pedicure. Again, I'm probably the only person who saw this, but underneath her black tights and open-toed shoes lay some very gnarly toenails. Nigel went up on stage to congratulate her afterwards (or perhaps just to further fuel the conspiracy theories--for all I know they were talking about toe jam football).

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Idolmania - Part 2 of My Front-Row Experience

Continued from Idolmania: What's A Cynic Like Me Doing in the Front Row?

The Word Nerd won me over last week when I finally took the time to listen to his pre-Idol stuff. Jason's still my overall favorite, but as an artist I prefer D-Cook's type of music. I started out hating him, thinking he was just another Daughtry wannabe with weird hair to boot. Never did I imagine that within a few short weeks I'd find myself flirting with him on national television. Okay, so maybe the flirting didn't take place on camera exactly, but close enough. When he was waiting around for his cue during rehearsal no one seemed to be paying any attention so I decided to capitalize on this and leaned forward and waved until he waved back. From then on he acted a little interested and I couldn't help but half-wonder if he was the reason I was invited back, because the looks continued during the live show and he didn't seem surprised to see me back for round two. And ladies...his boots were GINORMOUS.



The light show truly was painfully bright, which is part of the reason I didn't enjoy the actual performance as much as most people at home seemed to. Kat turned to me and said, "time to get blinded again." The only upside of this was that it made us more visible. My face can be seen during Paula's "frontman" comment (4:01), and there are lots of shots of my back throughout.

Brooke White is my daughter's favorite, but until now I didn't see her as anything special. She really came off as being as super sweet as she's been depicted on TV, and has this angelic glow about her. She did some voice warm ups while she tuned the piano in rehearsal, and kicked off one shoe to play both times. I figured she'd just take them both off after seeing that it was going to be too tough to put the one back on quickly and gracefully (she held them in her hands during the fake judging), and when Ryan brought them over to her during the live show she kinda looked down at them not sure how to proceed. Unlike Gnarly Carly, Brooke had a pedicure recently and was sporting a peachy pink shade of polish.



Due to the angle of the piano, we could only see the top of her head during the performance, but there are shots of me (resentfully) doing the hand-wave (1:11) and looking at her during judging (3:05) because of the tears.

Hernandez had a lot of nervous energy and came off as the most vulnerable and eager to please. He was chugging a mini Dasani both times right before his song, and there was a production assistant waiting at his side to take the bottle when the time came, which looked funny. We cringed during his video when he announced his song choice, did a random Derek Zoolander impression ("Beatles 101 class") and of course made the "PIZZA BISTRO" comments. When the judges commented that he overdid it I was surprised because his performance was wayyyyyy more campy and obnoxious in rehearsal (he got a talking-to from Nigel), but now I see that they meant vocally.

Despite having the cheapest looking weave in AI history, Amanda is actually really beautiful and has perfect skin. She was also very cool to the crowd, who cheered like she was the second coming. Out of everyone, seeing her in person improved my opinion of her the most. I didn't know Taye Diggs was in the audience until I saw it on TV, although I do remember hearing his name mentioned.

As I mentioned in my review, I gave Michael a thumbs up when he said he would be singing "Across the Universe" in his video, and I received an odd look in response. I now think it's because I didn't hear the part where he went on to say that the song helped him through a painful family experience.

There I am doing a one arm hand-wave (1:40) and you can see my face a couple of times during judging (4:00, 4:38).

I had the hardest time clapping and smiling for Kristy, and I'm sure you all know why. Still, when someone is drowning right in front of you, it's hard not to toss them a life preserver, even if you don't particularly want them to catch it.

My feelings were a little different about having front-row tickets to see The Chosen One take the fall. Again, he did not forget the words during rehearsal, but it was never good. When I found a spoiler that said he'd be doing the Stevie Wonder version of "We Can Work it Out" I thought it was probably fake, because it just didn't seem like a good choice. I can't hate the poor kid, but I refuse to give into the hype.

When they rolled the re-cap at the end I could see the back of my head on the screen at the same time the East coast was seeing it (not that I think any of them were paying attention to the back of my head, mind you) and it was just weird.



At the end of the show we were told to stay put for something "very special." This ended up being footage for the results show--the taping of the top 12 lined up while we cheered, then the six guys and the six girls. Once again we were blinded by the stage lights.

I left the studio at 7:15 pm, but between traffic and stopping to pick up my daughter I didn't get home until 8:30, so I missed the beginning of the show and still have not seen the parts which cannot be found on YOUtube. (Must. Get. TiVo.)

My daughter was proud to see her mama on TV. Lately she's been annoyed with AI because she says I "talk about it too much" (LOL) but she said she'd watch just to see me and told her whole class that I was on American Idol.

People keep asking me if I'd go again if given the chance. My answer is yes, even though it involves several aspects of my idea of hell--like being crushed by the Archuleta Army, subjected to Simon's critical eye and of course, being forced to hand-wave.

A Hard Day's Night for Hernandez

It's time for the first cut on the new stage. Well, after about an hour of filler that is. First it's hi to the judges.  Then comes the announcement that next weeks theme has been changed to Beatles the Redux (so much for changing it up) due to the number of calls received (and the fact that they paid for the rights to 180 songs).

 

Jim Carrey is in the audience in an elephant costume to promote his new film "Horton Hears a Who" which the top 12 were sent to watch over the weekend.

The Top 12 perform a pretty cruddy Beatles medley of "All My Lovin'," "I Feel Fine," "Can't Buy Me Love," and "Help!" Jason finally gets a solo.

Sanjaya and his sister are spotted in the audience. Where's Cryin' Ashley when you need her?

Roll tape of the recap from yesterday's performances. I am pictured directly in front of Hernandez (OMG it's an omen!)  They actually highlight Archuleta forgetting his lyrics, I am shocked.

Over to the couches. Ry asks Carly, Michael, Jason and Syesha to stand, then goes down the row and deems them all safe except for Syesha. She looks completely defeated and like she's been crying all day. Her finance is there to support her. Syesha again sings "Gotta Get You Into My Life."

Onto the first Ford commercial of the season. The top 12 are depicted as politicians vying for votes to the tune of "Going the Distance." Highlights for me were the "Vote for (insert name here)" signs and D-Cook holding two babies.

Instead of a full Horton premiere video where the contestants are forced to talk about how much they LOVED the film, this time the premiere is spliced with footage from the top 12 photo shoot and interviews about how the contestants lives are changing. I wanted shots of them eating popcorn and sitting in the theater damnit.

Back to the couches. Chikezie, Amanda, Kristy and D-Cook are asked to stand. All are deemed safe except Kristy, who says, "Where's the microphone?" before Ryan tells her she's in the b-3, then apologizes that we're going to have to hear her ho-down version of "Eight Days a Week" again.

After that's over we begin the first live caller series. Ryan pulls up a list of callers on the screen and chooses 12-year old Paige as the first one. She directs her question to...the person who dislikes talking the most. Castro is asked "If you could be a judge for the day, who would you be?" Jason has no idea how to respond (seriously, would you?) and begins with something about Paula, because she's the most different from him (I do not like where this is going) and then starts talking about Randy's shoes and Simon's...something, to which Ryan concludes, "A hybrid then." The next question is from six-time auditionee Ronny in NC, who wants to know what advice the judges have for him. Simon says, "Get another job," and Pauler adds, "Keep singing to Simon." John from LA wants to know when Ry and Si are going to throw down. Ry says he's waiting for them to load in the mud. Seacrest skips over the next thing on the screen which reads "Simon is sexy" (Can you say scripted ploy? That's not even a question). The last question is for Simon (what's with all of the judge questions, where are the Arch Angels with their "What do you dream about at night" type questions?) Tracy wants to know who Scowel thinks are more talented: Americans or Brits. Simon thinks Americans are more talented on stage, but on panel, well naturally the it's the Brit.

Time for a special performance of George Harrison's "Something" by Kat McPhee with Grammy winner David Foster accompanying her on piano. Kat wears Kristy's sparkly tank top from yesterday as a dress and chooses to stand in one spot and be boring. Seriously, my 7-year old daughter (who CRIED when Kat lost) could not be bothered to turn around to watch this performance. The song really does not pack as much punch when sung by a woman with the pronoun change, IMO. And I wanna know why those front row peeps got out of doing the hand-wave.

After the break we find Jim Carrey, sans costume, sitting on the couch acting nervous, as though he may be up for elimination. It's been done before, but this time I felt it was particularly insensitive to the contestants who were waiting to learn their fate.

They send Jim back to his chair, and Archuleta, Brooke, Hernandez and Ramiele are ushered to center stage. Wonderboy is deemed safe, Brookie is staying another week, and Rami (sporting the latest in bumblebee wear) is off the hook. We see Danny Noriega in the audience cheering her on (I just KNEW Danny would be there this week and kept looking for him when we were there yesterday). Hernandez rounds out the b-3, sings "I Saw her Standing There" and flubs a lyric.

The b-3 are rounded up and the judges are consulted. Paula says her head's on her shoulders. They all pretty much agree that America got it right. After 29 million votes, Syesha is safe. Kristy is...also safe.

David Hernandez leaves us tonight. Guess I won't have to bring any dollar bills with me to the concert this summer. We see his Idol journey to the tune of Ruben's cover of Kenny Loggins "Celebrate Me Home" and it is all a bit meh.

Thanks for "Papa was a Rollin' Stone" David, and for all of the dancing you professed you couldn't do. Rudy Cardeneas would be proud. Which reminds me - be out and proud. No more pretending to like girls or work at a pizza bistro.

Beatles Night = My Idol Debut

This week the top 12 took on the legendary Lennon/McCartney songbook on a brand new bigger, better stage. Some Work(ed) it Out, but others couldn't get it right even if they'd worked Eight Days a Week. I was there, front and center. We only had tickets to the rehearsal but they asked us to stay for the live broadcast as well, so I am all over that episode (lookin' bored, although I wasn't really).

Here are my performance reviews in order of appearance:

Syesha was up first with Earth, Wind & Fire's version of "Gotta Get You Into My Life." Her performance was not as good as in rehearsal, but I still enjoyed it more than I thought I would. She actually came off as likable and a little bit vulnerable, not her usual smirky self. Syesha was also the funniest when it came to reacting to the stand-in judges (they actually pay people who look like Randy, Paula and Simon to make comments). And it's too bad the camera couldn't pick up the detail on her boots - they were kickin'. B

Chikezie got to chat with Ry on the swivel saucer stools about his time as an LAX bag-checker and how he used to give Paula Abdul a hard time. In rehearsals they instead talked about Simon and Teri (allegedly) getting stopped at the airport with a blowup doll in their luggage. Dressed as a preppy Leprechaun from the '80's, The Cheez put a new spin on "She's a Woman" which was one of my song picks for him. It started off with a weird bluegrass shtick and then (thankfully) he broke away from the banjos and the fiddles to rock the stage with a different beat. It was funky in a memorable but not totally enjoyable way. And I must say that I never imagined I'd find my head between Chikezie's legs and splattered with his sweat, but there you have it, folks. (It's okay to say "ewww!" I know I did.) B-

Lullaby was up next with "In My Life" which she dedicated to her friends on the show who have already left (aw, Danny). Ramiele finally decided to take my advice and dress it up, and looked gorgeous in her black and white cocktail dress. Her voice was clear and beautiful, and she kept things simple--opting not to alter the song, which I felt was the right choice. The song came off as a true lullaby--sleep-inducing--but in a peaceful, pleasant way. Had she commanded more presence and shown more charisma I think this would have been a home run. Oh, and if the photo is not evidence enough, I really hate the whole crowd hand-waving thing. B

Castro decided to (try) to make my day by singing "If I Fell" as I had suggested. His delivery was sweet, sincere and pleasant, although once again he couldn't hit all of the notes. Out of all of the contestants he was the most playful/cutest to watch between takes--from peeking in from the wings to wave to us to making funny faces and goofing off to singing "We Can Work it Out" while they waited around. He also told us (front row) that he was glad we were there to sing to because it made it easier and gave my friend an "I love you too" when she called out to him. B

Carly got a chance to talk with Ryan about her favorite foods and rooming with Amanda, but in rehearsals they talked about her tattoo, which she called her "wee geisha." One thing I hadn't noticed before now was that she has a tattooed diamond instead of a ring on her wedding finger. Carly blew the doors off with a rockin' rendition of "Come Together" and it was definitely my favorite performance of the night. Her stage presence was that of a true rock star. A

D-Cook came out and blinded us with his Daughtry-esque light show. His rendition of "Elenor Rigby" was pretty hot, but I personally didn't like it as much as "Hello" or "All Right Now." He seemed to be the most gentlemanly of the contestants--allowing people to walk in front of him and doling out hugs and high fives to his competitors while being genuine about it. Nigel actually made sure he hugged his brother Andrew--who auditioned but didn't make it--before heading backstage after his performance (no one else did anything like that). And I daresay D-Cook might have been flirting with me just a bit--I definitely got a wave and some smiles/looks. A-

Brooke opted to sing "Let it Be" while playing piano and it was just beautiful. The song was a good fit for her, she looked great, and it just flowed. This was my second favorite performance of the night. I was surprised to see her get so emotional at the end, because she was fine during rehearsal (I even got a wink). Her husband was literally beaming while she was up there, and Brooke is now officially on my radar. A

Hernandez had the worst song choice of the night with "I Saw Her Standing There." Everything about it was just wrong. He performed better in rehearsal, but it was uncomfortable to watch each time since it was not believable. I literally had to restrain myself from shouting "Shake your moneymaker!" or "Over here, I've got a twenty!" The only thing that stopped me (aside from the fear of getting kicked out) was that I actually felt a bit sorry for him. Out of all of the contestants, he seemed the most vulnerable and eager to earn attention from the audience, which didn't deliver (notice that NO ONE clapped/cheered for his video). Oh, and dude is shorter than he looks on TV. C-

Amanda chatted with Seacrest about what the contestants do backstage before performing "You Can't Do That" which was one of my choices for her. She rocked the house and let me tell you, the crowd f'n LOVED her. Amanda came off as extremely likeable and down-to-earth--asking us how we're doing and all that. Her fake hair is lookin' more Kelly Bundy than Peg these days (thank God) and my only true criticism was the pants. A-

Remember when Michael sang "Don't You Forget About Me" last week and I said "I'll try not to"? Well I did. And not only me, but my friend too. We were standing there trying to figure out who was closing the show by process of elimination and literally forgot about MJ until he was standing in front of us. We cheered when he announced that he would be singing "Across the Universe" in his video and I (dorkily) gave him a thumbs up, which earned me an odd look in response (note to self: no more thumbs up). I enjoyed this for the most part but did feel that he didn't really go anywhere with it. Michael looked hot and seemed fairly personable, but his wife looks older in person. B+

Kristy's countrified version of "Eight Days a Week" took things to a whole nother level of hillbilly that just shouldn't have been explored. She could have been successful at turning the same song country by just singing it with a soft twang and an acoustic guitar, instead of going balls-out country fair on us. We were looking forward to Simon's reaction the most on this one, and when he finally spoke and some of the crowd "booed" him Kristy told us, "this is normal." And the crazy eyes were back in action. C-

Archuleta closed the show with Stevie Wonder's version of "We Can Work it Out" and did not work it out. How irritated do you think we were to see that he was being given the pimp spot for the second time in three weeks? And how ridiculous was it when he claimed to not be familiar with the Lennon/McCartney songbook after just having performed "Imagine" two weeks ago? And how much pleasure do you think we found when he forgot his lyrics more than once? I think you know. Further aggrivating the situation was being flanked by Arch Angels on both sides, one of which had an "Archuleta is Betta" sign. Blarf. David is tiny and has very little stage presence (unless you are entertained by counting how many times he licks his lips). But I will give him this: the shy turning around to wave at his tween army was sweet and sincere. C-

* * *

My b-3 prediction: Syesha, Hernandez and either Chikezie or Ramiele.

Guess Who's Going to the Top 12 Dress Rehearsal?

...me (FINALLY!) thanks to Kat on idolforums.com :)

I have a couple of unconfirmed song spoilers I'll post in the comments, and of course I'll post about the experience when I get back!

XOXO

Latest AI Buzz

FOX sent the Top 12 to the premiere of "Dr. Seuss's Horton Hears a Who" Saturday where the contestants met Jim Carrey and his girlfriend Jenny McCarthy. Amanda decided to rebel by being the only contestant to forgo the promo elephant ears (go Amanda!)

The contestants spent two hours being interviewed on the red carpet at the official Top 12 Party at the Pacific Design Center directly after the results show last Thursday. Also in attendance were the four most recently booted contestants--although Asia'h Epperson was apparently too distraught to stay more than a few minutes--and former Idol hopefuls Constantine, Gina Glocksen, Jusin Guarini and Kimberly Caldwell.

Songs already being commissioned for David A. & David H.

Katharine McPhee to perform at the top 12 results show Wednesday with David Foster (according to a MySpace bulletin she posted recently).

Kellie Pickler to appear on AI sometime this season (also according to her MySpace)

Blake Lewis to appear on LA Ink on either 3/13 or 3/17

Randy Jackson confirms: Mariah will be a Mentor this Season

Cheaper by the Dozen

It's time to find out who made the top 12, or as recapper extraodinaire Linda Sharp would say, who fills the American Idol metallic egg carton.

But first, Blake Lewis--wearing more layers than an onion and some shiny pants--is here to perform his newest single "How Many Words." B-Shorty beatboxes for most of the song (perhaps it should be titled "Not Many Words") and does some moonwalk-type moves. Ironically, the song includes the lyric "right back were we started" which makes me long for the "Somewhere Only We Know" days. He also sings about "getting caught in uranus." Actually it's "your reign and" but he doesn't enunciate well. The song feels extremely long and drawn out but that could be because AI has us trained to expect half-songs.

36 million votes were received, which is five million more than last week. Paula's in a fedora and is congratulated on having the #1 song on iTunes (which has since been surpassed by Jeff Buckley's "Hallelujah" thanks to Castro). Simon is asked to congratulate Pauler and he hems and haws over it before saying "well done."

After rolling the tape of the highlights of the guy's performance night, Ryan reminds us that there are eight faces, but only six places. The first person to be inaugurated into the coveted top 12 is David Cook. Archuleta and Castro are quickly asked to join him.

After the break it's the girl's turn, and we watch their recap video. Brooke is deemed safe and shyly makes her way across the room. Smirkado is asked the stand and the judges are consulted as to whether or not she's in. After three quick "yes'es" they make it official. Kady Malloy is then let go and makes her way to the center of the stage to watch her Idol journey and sing her swan song. Asia'h cries, Danny cries, and the performance isn't even as good as the night before--Kady is shaky and has got her b*tch face on.

Ryan announces that beginning next week they will be opening up the phone lines live on the result's show. Well that sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen.

It's back to the guys. Hernandez and Michael are IN, Lukeolas is OUT. For once Luke decides to wear a hot shirt, we see his journey, he sings and then he go-goes.

Ramiele, Carly and Amanda are asked to stay, while Kristy and Asia'h are left to cross their fingers for the final seat in the girls row of shiny saucer stools. After the break, the judges are consulted as to who they think is going home. Randy says he thinks it's going to swing Asia'h's way, Paula refuses to answer directly, and Simon predicts Asia'h is going home...and d*mn it he's right. We see her tearful video and she reprises "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" which is completely inappropriate save for the line "I've done alright up until now."

Danny and Chikezie--the only boys remaining, are asked to come down front and center. Unfortunately, it's Danny who gets the axe. I know there are at least two Danny haters to every Danny fan, but you gotta admit the guy is more entertaining than McCheesy, who I just can't see going platinum or filling up stadiums. We see Danny's tape, Ramiele cries, and Danny sings the words "take my tears and that's not really all."

They then recycle footage from the Top 24 video to announce the top 12 (and edit the "Eze" from Chikezie's name which mysteriously vanished during week one of performances).
So here you have it America, your top 12:

Jason Castro * David Archuleta * David Hernandez * David Cook * Michael Johns * Chikezie * Kristy Lee Cook * Carly Smithson * Brooke White * Ramiele Malubay * Amanda Overmyer * Syesha Mercado

Who will be the first to leave?

Song Suggestions for the Top 12 - Beatles Theme

Next week the top 12 will be performing early Lennon/McCartney songs the Beatles released from 1962-1966.

Here are my song suggestions:

David Cook: "What You're Doing" or "Day Tripper"

Kristy: "If I Fell"

Archuleta: "Paperback Writer" or "Girl"

Castro: "Norweigan Wood," "Yesterday" or "If I Fell"

Carly: "In My Life"

Hernandez: "Things We Said Today" or "No Reply"

Michael: "And I Love Her" or "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away"

Brooke: "I'll Follow the Sun"

Amanda: "Drive My Car" or "You Can't Do That"

Chikezie: "For No One" or "She's a Woman"

Ramiele: "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" (the "Across the Universe" soundtrack version)

Smirkado: "Any Time at All"

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Agree? Disagree? Have different suggestions?