Thursday, March 13, 2008

A Hard Day's Night for Hernandez

It's time for the first cut on the new stage. Well, after about an hour of filler that is. First it's hi to the judges.  Then comes the announcement that next weeks theme has been changed to Beatles the Redux (so much for changing it up) due to the number of calls received (and the fact that they paid for the rights to 180 songs).

 

Jim Carrey is in the audience in an elephant costume to promote his new film "Horton Hears a Who" which the top 12 were sent to watch over the weekend.

The Top 12 perform a pretty cruddy Beatles medley of "All My Lovin'," "I Feel Fine," "Can't Buy Me Love," and "Help!" Jason finally gets a solo.

Sanjaya and his sister are spotted in the audience. Where's Cryin' Ashley when you need her?

Roll tape of the recap from yesterday's performances. I am pictured directly in front of Hernandez (OMG it's an omen!)  They actually highlight Archuleta forgetting his lyrics, I am shocked.

Over to the couches. Ry asks Carly, Michael, Jason and Syesha to stand, then goes down the row and deems them all safe except for Syesha. She looks completely defeated and like she's been crying all day. Her finance is there to support her. Syesha again sings "Gotta Get You Into My Life."



Onto the first Ford commercial of the season. The top 12 are depicted as politicians vying for votes to the tune of "Going the Distance." Highlights for me were the "Vote for (insert name here)" signs and D-Cook holding two babies.

Instead of a full Horton premiere video where the contestants are forced to talk about how much they LOVED the film, this time the premiere is spliced with footage from the top 12 photo shoot and interviews about how the contestants lives are changing. I wanted shots of them eating popcorn and sitting in the theater damnit.

Back to the couches. Chikezie, Amanda, Kristy and D-Cook are asked to stand. All are deemed safe except Kristy, who says, "Where's the microphone?" before Ryan tells her she's in the b-3, then apologizes that we're going to have to hear her ho-down version of "Eight Days a Week" again.

After that's over we begin the first live caller series. Ryan pulls up a list of callers on the screen and chooses 12-year old Paige as the first one. She directs her question to...the person who dislikes talking the most. Castro is asked "If you could be a judge for the day, who would you be?" Jason has no idea how to respond (seriously, would you?) and begins with something about Paula, because she's the most different from him (I do not like where this is going) and then starts talking about Randy's shoes and Simon's...something, to which Ryan concludes, "A hybrid then." The next question is from six-time auditionee Ronny in NC, who wants to know what advice the judges have for him. Simon says, "Get another job," and Pauler adds, "Keep singing to Simon." John from LA wants to know when Ry and Si are going to throw down. Ry says he's waiting for them to load in the mud. Seacrest skips over the next thing on the screen which reads "Simon is sexy" (Can you say scripted ploy? That's not even a question). The last question is for Simon (what's with all of the judge questions, where are the Arch Angels with their "What do you dream about at night" type questions?) Tracy wants to know who Scowel thinks are more talented: Americans or Brits. Simon thinks Americans are more talented on stage, but on panel, well naturally the it's the Brit.



Time for a special performance of George Harrison's "Something" by Kat McPhee with Grammy winner David Foster accompanying her on piano. Kat wears Kristy's sparkly tank top from yesterday as a dress and chooses to stand in one spot and be boring. Seriously, my 7-year old daughter (who CRIED when Kat lost) could not be bothered to turn around to watch this performance. The song really does not pack as much punch when sung by a woman with the pronoun change, IMO. And I wanna know why those front row peeps got out of doing the hand-wave.

After the break we find Jim Carrey, sans costume, sitting on the couch acting nervous, as though he may be up for elimination. It's been done before, but this time I felt it was particularly insensitive to the contestants who were waiting to learn their fate.

They send Jim back to his chair, and Archuleta, Brooke, Hernandez and Ramiele are ushered to center stage. Wonderboy is deemed safe, Brookie is staying another week, and Rami (sporting the latest in bumblebee wear) is off the hook. We see Danny Noriega in the audience cheering her on (I just KNEW Danny would be there this week and kept looking for him when we were there yesterday). Hernandez rounds out the b-3, sings "I Saw her Standing There" and flubs a lyric.

The b-3 are rounded up and the judges are consulted. Paula says her head's on her shoulders. They all pretty much agree that America got it right. After 29 million votes, Syesha is safe. Kristy is...also safe.

David Hernandez leaves us tonight. Guess I won't have to bring any dollar bills with me to the concert this summer. We see his Idol journey to the tune of Ruben's cover of Kenny Loggins "Celebrate Me Home" and it is all a bit meh.

Thanks for "Papa was a Rollin' Stone" David, and for all of the dancing you professed you couldn't do. Rudy Cardeneas would be proud. Which reminds me - be out and proud. No more pretending to like girls or work at a pizza bistro.

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