Before we get to the recap, I'd like to take a minute to mention a couple of things...
Season 7 seems to be the year of contestants who can sing but can't necessarily perform/work the stage. Also, more than anything, it seems to be the year of consistency, as the performers seem to stay in their zone week after week:
Jason consistently sticks with mellow songs.
D-Cook consistently chooses to do someone else's cover (and rocks it).
Archie consistently licks his lips and does the passionate singers hand gesture.
Carly consistently rocks out (even though she claims not to be a rock singer).
Etc, etc.
In the past, very few contestants seemed to have stuck with their niche wholeheartedly, week after week, opting not to experiment with guyliner, songs out of their element or simply "giving the audience/judges what they want." Bo Bice was one of them, and he was great until after Idol when they stuck him with an album full of crappy pop tracks that were so not him.
So if things are starting to get a little boring, it's because we already know the score before tuning in -- Brooke will slow down a classic, Michael will park it at the mic stand, Ramiele will do a ballad. I appreciate the fact that the contestants are staying true to themselves, but at the same time I think it's hurting the overall entertainment value of the show. Now if we could just get them to learn how to PERFORM and WORK THE STAGE things would be different, but apparently, singing while walking down stairs is like walking and chewing gum at the same time. At least it is if you're part of, "The. Most. Talented. Season. Ever!" I never thought I'd say this, but there are actually people who could learn something from a Miss Kellie Pickler.
And on that *alarming* note, I digress...
The top 10 perform songs from the year they were born, which means it's 80's week again with two exceptions. I was made in the (early) 80's, how 'bout you?
It seems that after every commercial break AI chooses to further pimp itself or its sponsors--Drink Coke! Watch "'Til Death!" Download iTunes! Enter the Songwriting Contest! Get an iPhone! If I were to do that throughout my post it would look like this: Visit www.hannahshandprints.com! Go Vegetarian! Listen to David Cook's pre-Idol stuff! Vote for my blog! Don't eat at KFC! Whew. Pimpin' ain't easy, ya'll. And it sure ain't very rewarding...unless your name is Nigel.
Ramiele's video package reveals that she used to be a biter, and would steal the mic from whoever had it. Also, Mommy Malubay is still the cutest thing ever. Ramiele's up first with :::gasp::: Heart's "Alone" (aka Carrie Underwood's powerhouse song from season 4 and one of my all-time favorites). I was not impressed with Carly's version of this in H-Wood week, and was nervous for Rami when I heard she'd be doing this, especially since she was going first. Ramiele lost her voice recently, but I thought she sang it very well and would not have noticed if they hadn't mentioned it. The beginning is shaky and one of the backup singers was literally shrieking, but overall it is better than expected. Also, her outfit is an improvement over the usual awful Ramielewear ("snaps for the wardrobe dept!"). B+
It's Jason Castro's 21st birthday, but no one can seem to be bothered to utter a mere "happy b-day" (at least not on camera--I hear the crowd sang to him at rehearsal) let alone grant him time on the chat stools or let him close the show. Sporting the hint of a 'stache (ew!) and another bad outfit, Jay sings Sting's "Fragile." By popular request, he throws in some Spanish, but seems to make even more funny faces when he sings that than he does in French or English. Oh Jason, I'm sorry to have to say this, but you have officially lost me. Things have been rocky between us for the last couple of weeks (seeing as how I've kinda-sorta been interested in another guy and all), and it's come time to say goodbye. Don't worry, things would never have worked out between us--according to astrology.com we have a compatibility rating of NEGATIVE ONE PERCENT (I'm still trying to figure out how that is mathematically possible, but whatevs). For the record, I would have attended your b-day bash had I been invited (even though it would have been kinda awkward with my new man there and all--but more on that later). Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I still love you, I'm just not IN love with you. C-
Syesha used to be a crybaby. She sings Stephanie Mills' "If I Were Your Woman." It's good, but not the super-hot breakout performance the judges try to make it out to be. I prefer her performance on the last day of H-Wood week. A-
Somehow, Chikezie manages to score his second interview with Ry in three weeks, while others like D-Cook and Ramiele have yet to grab a stool. Chi was a Sept. 11th baby and as he mentioned before, grew up listening to Nigerian music. He chooses to slow things down with Luther Vandross's "If Only for One Night" and it's obvious that the reason the judges don't like when he does ballads is because he turns them into a total Cheesefest. He actually resorts to grabbing the hand of an audience member to sing to her (shame on the production assistant who forgot to remind the audience to take off their wristbands!) His voice is smooth like butter but I just can't get on the C-Train...which I predict will soon be leaving the station headed for home (in Cheesy's case: The 'Hood). C+
Brooke has three siblings and a hot mom, and she learned to play the piano by ear. She opts to sing "Every Breath You Take" by the Police (aka "The Stalker Song") while accompanying herself on piano. She half-starts and then starts over again, which is one of the most obvious errors in Idol history. The beginning of the song is slow, mellow, and lovely, and then the band kicks in and it's not as good or centered. I'm told she had to do this twice in rehearsal because the band messed up. And someone please tell me why Brooke's hands have been replaced with those of an 80-year old woman. I agree with Randy and Simon on this one--she should have kept it pure and simple the whole way through like she did with "Let it Be." B+
Michael is very competitive and he and his sister used to exchange "I'm too good for you" looks. He gives us "two Queen songs for the price of one": "We Will Rock You" and "We Are the Champions." It would seem that Michael can only rock Queen songs, which is an odd thing to say since Freddie Mercury is such an untouchable legend, but so far MJ has only truly shined when he's covered them. And I do mean shined--those stage lights were so bright I was pained and would imagine that those in the audience are still seeing spots. Anyway, The Aussie is back and ready for action. A-
:::Breaking news::: Rumor has it that Carly Smithson is preggers. (At the very least, it explains the last-minute bathroom break before her performance.) Carly was the only contestant to go with one of my song suggestions this week--Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Unfortunately she didn't perform as well as I expected, but it was still pretty good. At one point it looked like she was humping the air and she sounded raspy at the end. B+
Archie talks with Ry about prom, and then we see him dance with his older sister in his video. David defies my hope of "Ice, Ice Baby" and sings "You're the Voice" instead. The whole thing is very 1990, which is the whole idea but still bothers me for some reason. While it is "good in parts" (to quote Simon) and he hits some impressive notes, his voice also cracks at one point. C
Kristy's family used to beg her to please stop singing, and now it's America's job. Kristy channels LeeAnn Rimes to sing Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" and it...doesn't suck. It is certainly 100% better than the YOUtube video of her singing this previously. It was also nice to see her with an AMERICAN flag behind her this time instead of a Confederate one. I was saddled with the perfect quote for this performance (monkey in Madagascar saying, "If you have any poo, fling it now!") and am shocked that I won't be able to use it. Mark my words: Kristy will not hit the b-3 this week. A-
For those of you just tuning in, David Cook is my new boyfriend. Actually I'm more of a Billie Jean to him (minus the paternity thing), but that's okay, he...will...be...mine. He sings Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean." (To everyone who wants to bash him for "ripping off" the arrangement: Ryan clearly announced this as the "Chris Cornell version," so shut it.) This performance elevated him to a place no man has gone before...ABOVE Archuleta in the Dial Idol rankings (no. 1 baby!) One of the top two performances of the night, and I'm telling you, if you haven't checked out his pre-Idol stuff yet, you're sorely missing out. David is totally holding back, and is only going to continue to kick ass. A
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B-3 will be: Chikezie, Ramiele and Jason...with Cheesy out the door.
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