Diamond in the Rough?

Once again I braved the heat, the multiple hours of waiting in line, the Arch Angels (way more intimidating than the Hells Angels IMO), and risked losing my snark cred to bring you my front-row rehearsal report. The front row does not come without a price, dear reader. Not only does it involve dressing like Britney Spears (it's sleepingbeauty, bitch!) but this week I had to deal with the Ryan Seacrest Fan Club (Amazon blondes who kept edging me out and screaming "I love you Ryan!" over and over and over and over and I'm not kidding over and over and over...and OMG shut-the-hell-up over again) as well as a gaggle of the most clueless brunettes I've ever encountered. Should the curse of the top 5 strike again, I doubt I will be able to put up with this crap. (In case you are as clueless as the brunettes on this one, EVERY contestant who has ever performed second during top 5 week has been eliminated the next night. My man performed in the spot of doom. So for everyone's sake, you better hope DC is exempt from the curse. Honest to blog.)

Before we get to the performance reviews, here are some behind-the-scenes tidbits:

Paula Abdul made a special appearance in the studio. Normally the judges aren't in the studio during rehearsals (they have sit-ins) but she came in and silently hugged half the audience (including those damn brunettes) and tripped in her monstrous stilettos.

David Hernandez was in the rehearsal audience. Some people (guess who?) didn't know who he was, despite the fact that he performed on that very stage not two months ago.

Nigel was sporting some sort of bandage on his hand. When asked what happened he replied, "Surgery."

David Cook was the first to be spotted waiting in the wings and when people began waving at him, he waved back, and then more people started waving, and he waved at them, and then still more people waved, and so he decided to do a crazy all-over hyper wave to end the madness which was funny.

When we filmed the results package for tomorrow's show, Jason was yawning, Brooke took the longest to come out again, and D-Cook was teasing Debbie who said, "I got to touch Brad Pitt and now David Cook" to which he exclaimed, "Make the face!"

Anyways, Neil Diamond met and mentored the final five on two songs apiece. I have nothing to say about Neil except his collection of sparkly shirts is surely the envy of Kristy Lee Cook. And Ryan Seacrest. Oh, and did anyone else think Brooke sounded like a tranny when she met Neil? Scary.

Jason was up first with "Forever in Blue Jeans" in a pair of (what else?) blue jeans that fit in all right places. He sings out of the side of his mouth like a stroke victim, but still manages to look adorable. This performance was okay, and definitely better in person. I liked his little guitar swagger and the sweet smile he threw in at the end. In rehearsal the Amazons complimented his snakeskin boots and asked him for a hug before he started, and he looked down at the stage and said, "Um, I think that would be kinda awkward...How 'bout high-fives instead?" He then hand-slapped everyone in the front row, including yours truly. (I can die happily.)

Up next: Cook & Brooke, the newest superhero team. (For those of you whose Idol obsession does not extend to behind-the-scenes videos, Brooke was asked to name their superhero duo on the set of last week's Ford video and came up with "Cook & Brooke" which DC praised before looking into the camera and mouthing, "That's terrible!")

Cook is interviewed, or rather, turns the question on Seacrest, asking him how he prepared for The Diamond. The rehearsal interview is usually not the same as the one they do in the live show but this time it was.

D-Cook then rocked "I'm Alive" complete with electric guitar, his hottest rockstar look to date and flashy lights (which were fortunately briefer than the ones he blinded me with during Eleanor Rigby). I couldn't comprehend a word of this in rehearsal, so engaged was I in trying to catch his eye and deciphering the inscription on the dog tags among his 50 necklaces to verify that they were indeed the ones the Word Nerds sent him (they are). He responded to my wave with a smile this time. Due to an issue with his guitar they had him perform this a second time. As you can imagine, no one complained. I felt his live performance wasn't as strong though--his voice sounded gravely and more mumbly than usual and things weren't as amped. Also, talk about a 5 o'clock shadow! I swear he grew more facial hair in the one hour between the time I saw him and the live show.

Brooke nailed "I'm A Believer" in rehearsal, and I thought it was a very fitting Shrek soundtrack song for her. (I also gave her bonus points when she told us it was, "scary to have to sing after David Cook.") Then on camera...WTF happened? She started with wide eyes, added some crazy faces and headbobbing, forced...everything, sounded once again like Brooky the Tranny (seriously, listen to the audio alone) and then, she eventually got better as the song went on. Um, there went my Brooke-might-be-safe-this-week theory.

Archie, dressed like the Hamburgler, then decided to diva-fy the most popular bar song evah: "Sweet Caroline." Oh no he di-in't! I like my Sweet Caroline straight up with a twist of lime at 2 a.m. when the bar is closing and everyone is drunk and happy. This song was never meant to belted with goshdarn GLORY NOTES and his infamous hand-reach. That said, he sounded great. Also, ArchuD2: The Forbidden Fruit (thanks Mags!) is the only one holding true to the no-touching policy, so maybe it is a Dadchuleta rule after all.

Syesha performs "Hello Again" seated and barefoot, then rises for the big finish. (Why does this performance remind me of Fivel from American Tale? Seriously wondering...) She sounds great, but nobody cares. Seriously, people in the audience got more excited when a stagehand grossly mispronounced her name than when she finished her song, which might have been the best vocal of the night.

Ryan then consulted the judges for brief comments on the FIRST round of songs and Paula provided her take on BOTH of Jason's songs which caused a stir, awkwardness and some vicious "AI IS SCRIPTED!!!" posts online. Um, seriously people I've already attested to the fact that Ms. Abdul was in the hizzouz before the rehearsal began. The judges watch from backstage while getting their hair and make up done to get an idea of what they're going to say. It actually looked like she took notes for the purpose of being concise, and part of the reason she WASN'T on it could have had something to do with the fact that Ryan announced at least twice before that that they judges would be asked for their feedback AFTER everyone sang their second song. And yes, it's a sad day when I defend Pauler. (Must have had something to do with the fact that she was within hugging distance today.)

Castro, take two: "September Morn." He was nervous and running through the lyrics in rehearsal and told us that he "never remembers the words" and that it was even harder to have to learn two songs this week (how many times have we heard that one?). He assumed the position on his BFF The Stool and...it was kind of a mess. Better in rehearsal, but still along the lines of last week's "Memory" debacle. And what was with those hyper-hand wavers on TV? (Once again my audience managed to completely escape the hand-waving horror. Victory!)

Holy smouldering eyes Batman! D-Cook made me swoon with "All I Really Need is You" when he looked down at me with those half-lidded bedroom eyes as he sung part of it. LOOOOVES it. Pure, sweet perfection. :::Prays to iTunes gods::: Please let this be the single you release!

Ry asked Brooke about Neil during her rehearsal interview, but she was more interested in going back and forth to the piano to check if it was in tune and if the bench was positioned properly and if they placed her shoes in the right place than having a chat. Those shoes (same pumps Ryan got cheeky with during top 12 week) were once again given to Ry to...enjoy. Brooke performed "I Am, I Said" with some of the lyrics written on hand and changed NY to AZ per Neil's suggestion (I thought she was from Van Nuys?). She sounded both hoarse and screechy with a few broken notes, but it was still better than the "I'm A Believer" you saw on TV.

The Archburgler then decided to pull a Kristy Lee on us and get patriotic with "America" complete with cheesy American flag screensaver. Closer inspection of the words reveals that he's actually pandering to/preaching about immigrants. A very wise song choice indeed. In rehearsal he had a coughing fit at end of his song and tried to apologize for it along with his Forbidden Fruityness which resulted in the following: Sorry! *cough* I can't! *cough* Sorry! *cough* I'm not allowed! *cough*

Ryan gives an iTunes shout out and I get excited when I spot an adorable bro and sis from FL who I met in line that end up on camera for a good 15 seconds. Yay for them!

Syesha closes the show with one of the songs I recommended for her: "Thank the Lord for the Night Time" (thanks for listenin' girl). She asked our audience to have fun with it and clap and do the moves along with her. A grouchy stagehand questioned her decision to go barefoot again, but Sy held firm ("No, I don't have any shoes for this dress.") As I anticipated, the song was a great fit for her and she had fun with it.

On the way out I saw Brooke's husband and Jason's brother, and met Archie's aunt and model-hot cousin.

B-2 prediction: Brooke & Jason with Brooke on the outs.

Idol Headlines ~ 4/26/08 & 4/27/08

Top 5 Attend Brit Week Launch Party

Jason's Uplifting Gift from Fans

Carrie Underwood Breaks Down

Michael Johns at the White House

Preview Phil Stacey's New Album

Former Idols Perform at Christian Dove Awards

Neil Diamond Theme: Song Suggestions

Next week the top 5 will be singing the songs of Neil Diamond. It has not been confirmed if they will each be doing two songs or not. Traditionally, the top 5 have done two, however I'm leaning towards the idea that this year they might not based on the following: 1) The show is only set to be an hour (when the top 10 each performed once the show was an hour and a half). 2) There is no mention of two songs in the official press release, and the AI moderators seem to know less on the subject than I do. 3) In Carly's exit interview she mentioned that the song (singular) she had planned to do was a ballady version of "Sweet Caroline." Still, I'll list more than one song suggestion for each contestant just in case.

For me, sorting through the Neil Diamond songbook was about as enjoyable as listening to the cheesefest that is the American Idol Songwriter contest submissions. Sorry Diamond fans, but I can't honestly say I found anything I actually WANT to hear. My 7-year old daughter (who hated Hannah Montana until IGB) agrees, and suggested they do a Miley Cyrus theme instead. Somehow I think that might be preferable.

I expect to see "I'm a Believer" as the group song since this year's finalists seem to have a penchant for songs from the Shrek soundtrack, and also because "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" (which I loathe) has already been group-numbered.

Here we go:

D-Cook (on top, 'cuz that's where I like him): "Solitary Man," "If You Know What I Mean" or "Longfellow Serenade." Best of all would be "Girl, You'll be a Woman Soon" if dedicated to the 17-year old female version of ALW.

Castro: The most obvious and fitting song for our Dreadlocked friend is UB40's version of "Red, Red Wine" which both me and my buddy IdolJenn have suggested previously. I also think that--if done in a higher key--"If I Never Knew Your Name" suits Jason's phrasing and falsetto. And finally there's "Play Me" because Jason's guitar called to say she misses his long and loving...fingers.

Brookie: I had "slowed-down version of 'Sweet Caroline' (perhaps without the "oh-oh-oh's")" written down for Brooke before I heard Carly'd planned to do it, and am sticking with it as my top choice. Then there's "You are the Best Part of Me" and "September Morning" (which requires a lyric change).

Syesha: "I've Got a Feelin' (Oh No, No)" (which also would need a lyric change) since I prefer non-ballady Syesha. Otherwise "Thank the Lord for the Night Time" (which is as close as I get to suggesting anything with religious connotations) or "Hello Again."

Archie: "Be," "The Gift of Song," and--even though it's WAYYY too schmaltzy for my taste--"Heartlight."

I am aware that my list omits the majority of Diamond's #1 hits, and I'm all right with that.

What would you like to hear?

The Black Vest of Doom Strikes Again

It's Wednesday, which means Ryan is dressed in his undertaker's suit in memoriam of the soon-to-be axed contestant.

This. Is. American. Idol. Wave to the judges! (Paula looks especially good tonight.)

This week's group song has Andrew Lloyd Webber behind the piano as the top 6 perform "All I Ask of You." It is not particularly memorable, as there are no chest bumps, butt bumps, rockstar kicks or Idol side-stepping.

This summer's Idols Live! Tour will kick off in Glendale, AZ, home of our current Idol Jordin Sparks, and finish in Tulsa, OK the current residence of our next American Idol David Cook. (Coincidence? I think not.)

Roll recap footage from the previous night's performances.

Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber is then asked to join Ryan in the uncomfortable chat chairs which also moonlight as the b3/b2 stools of doom, which I find amusing. ALW is such a unique and strange-looking individual that it is quite awkward to watch him for say, more than a second. (My co-worker asked me if he was special or just eccentric. I wasn't quite sure of the answer. Mad genius?) He is asked about Brooke's re-start, Jason's off-the-wall song choice and what he'd call a love song written for Simon and Pauler.

Commercials, including this week's Ford Video which is set to the tune of "Tainted Love" as sung by the fabulous Danny Noriega (I wish). Archie plays a comic book artist whose superhero drawings of the other Idols come to life. Everyone has weird hair and Jason gets a chin tattoo that was literally inspired by Carly's husband Tom.

Fantasia postage stamps are on sale now with proceeds benefiting IGB.

Then the President and the First Lady thank us for helping raise over $65 million for IGB in a video clip.

Time for some results. "The David's" are called center-stage. Cook is asked why he didn't change the arrangement of "Music of the Night." The answer is: so as not to be predictable. Archuleta is not called out on forgetting the lyrics at any point, yet we hear about Brooke's blunder at least four times. The David's are safe, Simon is eating and Castro is yawning.

More commercials, then roll tape of previous Idols who have made it big on Broadway. Diana DiGarmo, Fantasia and LaKisha Jones (who's in the audience) have already had their time in the spotlight, but so we focus on two previous contestants who are currently making curtain calls: Tamyra Gray is starring as Mimi in RENT (I really have got to see this) and Clay Aiken is performing in Spamalot. Both are happy and well, and Clay's newest album drops May 6th.

Time for the performance I've been most looking forward to, as new pop sensation Leona Lewis takes the stage with the hit "Bleeding Love." My BFF, who is a DIEHARD Kelly Clarkson fan recently admitted that Leona's version of "Without You" blew Kelly's out of the water, which is just one example of how awesome this chick is. Leona has freakin' fire ignite on the stage which makes Miley's malfunctioning fog machines and Mariah's glittery mic stand look like toys in comparison. I have got to download this album.

We continue on in our Noah's Ark style elimination, as the contestants are summoned two-by-two. It's Syesha and Brooke's turn in the spotlight, Brooke proves that she's aware of her new nickname, and my theory that sympathy votes might save her is correct. She is safe, Syesha is in the b2.

Commercials, then the final two contestants learn their fate. Even though he had a rough night, Jason is safe and Carly (who gave her obnoxious T-shirt to a kid because it was too ugly to actually wear) joins Syesha in the b2.

Both are asked to sing, and Syesha proves that an outfit and some choreography CAN make a difference as--while the vocals are about the same--her reprisal of "One Rock 'n Roll Too Many" is nowhere near as captivating.

After over 38 million votes, it is Irish Eyes and her doomed black vest who is bid adieu. Roll tape of her journey, which includes at least three shots of her buddying up with Brooke. Forgive me, but at no point do I remember those two EVER acting chummy--they are about as different as night and day. Methinks it's an editing trick to try and sway some of Carly's votes Brooke's way, which is pretty ridiculous considering their differences and the fact most of the Fighting Irish have already pledged to vote for D-Cook since they are actual friends with similar musical styles. Carly takes it all in stride in what is one of the classiest exits ev-ah. Go Carly!

Idol Headlines ~ 4/23/08

Analog Heart Disappears from Amazon After Topping Charts

Idols Live! Tour Dates Announced

Jordin Sparks on Vocal Rest

Constantine Maroulis to Perform in LA

Jeff Archuleta Speaks Out

Archie Will Not Attend His Prom

Natasha Bedingfield to Perform "Pocket Full of Sunshine" & Neil Diamond to sing "Amazing Grace" on Top 5 Results Show

Music of The...Sorry I Forgot the Words

It's Andrew Lloyd Webber week on American Idol, although for some it seems more like an episode of Don't Forget the Lyrics.

Let's see how the Super Six fared, shall we?

Underdog Syesha Mercado opens the show with "One Rock 'n Roll Too Many" from Starlight Express. Talk about working the stage--girl stands atop the piano, lounges on it, slides off, saunters across the stage and dances with Ricky. It's altogether sultry, sexy and smokin' hot. Although she manages to keep it from being over-the-top animation-wise, this performance only confirms that she is destined for Broadway instead of the top of the Billboard charts. Will this be Syesha's "Don't Rain on My Parade" (aka the knockout performance that LaToya London left on)? Maybe. But only because she has the smallest fan base and went first. A

Jason Castro admits that like me, he's quite the ALW novice. He also supplies the funniest line of the evening when he says, "I didn't even know it was about...I didn't know a cat was singing (Memory from Cats)...it's kind of a popular song." What he doesn't mention is that he's actually very sick (ironic, since he was the only one to break AI's new "no touching" policy last week. Anyone think TPTB might have purposely sent some germs his way to teach him a lesson?) While I respect Jason's decision not to make excuses (we surely would have heard about it at least three times had one of the girls been in his shoes), I think more voters would have had pity on him if armed with that information. Because, well, there's nothing really good to say about this performance except that--unlike "Michelle" which haunts me to this day--at least it's a forgettable trainwreck. D+

Newly minted Worster Brooke White chooses to sing "You Must Love Me" from the film "Evita." She starts, loses a lyric, apologizes, and asks to start over, thus one-upping herself for the Most Obvious Error In American Idol History. OUCH. I sincerely feel bad for Brooke because let's face it: how many of us would like to have our most embarrassing moment broadcast live on national television? The song is wobbly and a bit uncomfortable to watch but she does manage to get through it and judging without crying or talking back. (Why does the Brittenum twin's "My spirit, has been broken" keep ringing in my ears?) Will pity votes and The Site Which Shall Remain Nameless be enough to save her? Maybe, maybe not. C-

In lieu of a real interview, David Archuleta is asked to allow a family of six poorly-dressed sisters (I have no choice but to stereotype and assume they are Mormon) hug him (hey, what happened to the no-touching policy?) He chooses to sing "Think of Me" from Phantom and try and follow ALW's advice by keeping his eyes open. (Man, first they take away his lip-licking, now his closed-eyes. At this rate he'll be gasp-free by the finale.) Despite some serious lyric flubbing and gasping, I actually kinda sorta enjoyed parts of this. B-

Carly "Irish Eyes" Smithson wanted to sing Phantom's "All I Ask of You" but ALW steered her towards her second choice of "Superstar" from Jesus Christ Superstar. While it was upbeat and suited her personality, somehow I don't think this blasphemous song picked up any of Kristy Lee's middle-America votes. I also don't see it burning up the iTunes charts, and once again feel that songs about Jesus (neither for nor against) belong on Idol. B-

David Cook listened to my pillow talk suggestion and went with Phantom's "Music of the Night." What I forgot to mention (seeing as how I had other things on my mind...) is that I wanted him to either show off his piano skills and/or rock out the arrangement. My bad. David keeps it traditional and proves to all the nay-sayers that yes, he has a voice and it is in-credible. Oh, and the sign David's mom is wielding is so big I think The Other Woman might have been hiding behind it. A

* * *

B-3 prediction: I can say with certainty that the David's are safe. Other than that, I think they are all vulnerable for different reasons and it's too close to call.

The Woman Who Stole the Show on Last Night's Bachelor

I don't usually post about anything non-Idol, but this one deserved a mention. Not only because it was AWESOME, but because "Fake Mom" is actually a friend of the family (and my new hero, LOL).
Okay, so for those of you who don't watch The Bachelor he was down to the final four and flew to each of their hometowns to meet their parents. Amanda decided to pull a prank on the bachelor by hiring actors to pretend to be her parents and be totally over-the-top obnoxious. And he TOTALLY FELL FOR IT!
Best. Hometown. Date. Ever.

"You're touching my nipple..."

Song Spoilers ~ Andrew Lloyd Webber Theme

Click on "comments" for the list.

Johns & Cook to Collaborate

Best news I've heard all day...

Kelly Clarkson Sings "Ave Maria" for Pope Benedict XVI

Idol Headlines ~ 4/18/08

Kristy's Secret Engagement

Clive Steps Aside

Adam Cook Home Safe & Sound

Not All Contestants are Treated Equally

Is Idol Rigged? Brian Dunkleman Thinks So!

Vote for The Worst Backs Babbling Brooke

Song Suggestions: Andrew Lloyd Webber Theme

Next week the top 6 will be performing songs written or composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber (not just anything Broadway). They will be flying to the Venetian hotel in Vegas for the mentoring portion this weekend, and ALW will perform in the studio on results night.

So I admit it, I'm an ALW novice. The only Broadway shows I've seen are Les Mis and The Color Purple (sans Fantasia, although she was supposed to be there), Wicked (at the Pantages) and RENT (though only on the small screen). The closest I've come to anything by ALW is watching Madonna as Evita on the big screen, and a satire production called "Phantom of the Melodrama" at a theatre in Moorepark that may or may not still exist.

That's right. No CATS. No real Phantom. SB had to do some homework in order to come up with the following song suggestions. (Actually, these are based purely off of iTunes' 30 second clips. So if I'm way off base, let me know...)

Here we go:

Carly: "Angel of Music" (Phantom), "As if We Never Said Goodbye" (Sunset Blvd) or "Memory" (CATS)

DC: "The Music of the Night" (Phantom)

Castro: "Love Changes Everything" (Aspects of Love)

Archie: "Any Dream Will Do" (Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat)

Brooke: "Only He" (Starlight Express), I could also see her singing "Love Changes Everything" but I'd rather hear Jason's take on it.

Syesha: "Memory" (CATS)

What do you think? What would you like to hear?

Huzzuh!

To clarify, THIS is what the funny, pointy "hey you" look I received in rehearsal looked like:

...and I told you his boots were huge.

Can I get a "what-what"?

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen

So we've had a full week to recover from the shocker that was MJ's brutal and untimely elimination, but I for one am still in mourning. Our Idol lineup seemed infinitely smaller and less purty this week, and is about to get even more so.

Intros all around, then this week's group song: "One Sweet Day." Jason kicks things off and though he sounds a little rough he looks smokin' hot. The torch is then passed to Kristy, who, like Jason, manages to make a white top and jeans look incredible. Then the rest join in and I can't help but notice that Screamecha (sporting a Nadia Turner-esque faux-hawk) sounds out of place, whereas Carly and Archie harmonize beautifully together.

Commercials, plug for the Songwriting Contest, then the recap package where I am a blur for a half-second.

And so begins our elimination process. We see the top 7 gathered backstage, allowing a moment of "humm...maybe they will be departing from typical top 7 elimination process of separating them into two groups and making the top vote-getter choose a side..." Nope, we get to play left, right, left, as each contestant is individually called to the stage.

First up, Castro. He's told to head stage left, which is near the couches of comfort (psychology, anyone?) Next is D-Cook, who's asked about the tears at the end of his performance. He holds strong to his decision not to use his sick brother for sympathy votes, and gives a vague generalized answer instead. David is then sent to the other side of the stage, near the Stools of Doom which can only mean one thing--someone will be trading places at one point, 'cuz there's no way in hell a boy is in the b-3 this week. Carly is called to the center of the stage and after much sexually suggestive banter with Ry and Si she is told to join Jason near but not on the couches. Then it's Kristy's turn, and for the sake of evening the sides she's told to join her namesake stage right, but not before she calls Simon a "butt." (I honestly didn't know whether to cheer or sneer, so I chneered.)

Commercials, including the one that matters: The Ford Video, set to the tune of "I Want to Break Free." The Idols are hooked up to cords Marionette-style as they toil away in a dreary office before nice shiny Fords come rescue them from their boredom. While the actual car part is cheesy, I loved the office concept and they way (most) of the contestants played their parts. D-Cook managed to look like both PeeWee Herman and Milton ("I believe you have my stapler?"), while Archie was every bit a creepy Munsters robot boy (in a good way). Kristy's acting has improved immensely since her stint as a white coat in an electric toothbrush commercial.

We're taking a break from the results for a live performance, so the contestants are assembled on the couches but Ryan reminds us that they've so far been separated into two groups, with Castro & Carly on one side and "The Cooks" on the other (notice that she cackles like a madwoman, while he just looks annoyed).

Elliott Yamin performs "Free" in his first time on stage since the loss of his mother Claudette. I personally felt that it was too soon and that his performance suffered because of it (his vocals were not nearly as good as usual) but he managed to keep a smile on his face and get through it, so for that I applaud him. He then pulled a He-Cook and revealed the message "We Miss You Mom" written on his hand whereupon I instantly burst into tears. (I swear I'm not usually this emotional, but lately this stuff is getting to me...) Bonus points to anyone who recognized Jose "Sway" Penala among the backup singers.

More sort-of results: Syesha goes left, Babbling Brooke (who sneaks in a vegetarian shout out, thanks for that) goes right.

Time to roll footage of the call-ins. First question is from Joan in Vegas. She wants to know if Kristy's been able to buy her horse back. Unfortunately, no, the bastard she sold it to is holding out for more money. Boo on him. Next is Jillian from Maine who, in honor of National Record Store Day (WTF?) asks what records the judges first bought. Randy: Led Zep, The Beatles, James Brown. Paula: Jackson 5, EW&F and Carole King. Simon: "I was 10 years old, and it was Pauler Abdul's Straight Up." Megan from NJ wants to give a bunch of shout outs before asking Pauler which of her songs describes her relationship with Simon. Let's see, Cold-Hearted Snake...too obvious. Opposites Attract, yep. And finally, Straight Up Simon, she will never be Forever Your Girl. Denise from Cincinnati wants Simon to explain the difference between a theme-park, karaoke, and piano bar performance. The answer: "In a nutshell, they're all horrible." And finally, our very own Mallory from the AI boards asks DC in her adorable country twang the question the Word Nerds have been debating for months: "Are you single?" He asks which camera to look into before declaring: "Yes! Yes! Yes!" and thus ending Lacey-gate 2008 (or at least putting it off, my women's intuition tells me she's still a threat and will soon be back in the audience to taunt us.)

Now on sale: Ruben postage stamps! You know you want more of the Velvet Teddy Bear...

Mariah takes the stage to perform her newest single, "Bye Bye" in an outfit that would not be out of place on Hollywood Blvd. Her mic has a weird echo and it sounds like she's singing over a track of herself doing backup at one point but she looks so f'n hot it doesn't really matter. Her mic stand is glitter-fied, she's got a sparkly press-on butterfly tattoo, and wind machines keep her hair a-blowin.' Then we get to hear how much she loves Randy, how great it was to work with the contestants and a plug for her new album.

Time for the final results. Archie is backstage all by his lonesome but is brought out and quickly declared safe. There are "too many Cook's in the kitchen" (foreshadowing, anyone?) so Ry asks He-Cook and Syesha to swap places. That's more like it. Archie is asked to join the group he thinks is safe, and cops a squat center-stage faster than you can say Mindy Doo. Ryan urges him to scoot closer to the couches, and declares Cookie, Carly and Castro safe. DC sits on the stage with Archie, Carly faces a sitting-in-a-dress-dilemma, and Castro wonders why everyone in his group is suddenly gearing up to play duck-duck-goose.

And so our b-3 consists of roomies Syesha, Kristy and Brooke. Our diva is sent to safety, leaving the two blonde best buddies to sweat it out. Simon calls it, Babbling Brooke opens her mouth again, and Kristy gets Sanjaya-ed. (They were both "Worsters" who left in 7th place after a fairly decent performance in comparison to the ones that came before it, then switched up the lyrics to their swan song.)

Roll Kristy's journey where we are again reminded of her poor horse (how soon before we see the headline "Man Sells Back Horse to Idol Finalist"? Two weeks?)

Kristy then serenades Simon with her fitting swan song: "These days of love are gone. Our time is through. Spent all my time waiting, for a good comment from you..."

Peace out Kristy. I hope you get your horse back.

Our dual-Cook problem has officially been solved. Now if only we could take care of the dual-David dilemma...

How Many Ballads Does it Take to Make a Mariah Night?

The Great Amanda Overmyer once said, "Ballads are boring, man."

Unfortunately, our Super Seven don't seem to agree.

Welcome to Snoozapalooza, aka Mari-UGH night.

I am pleased to report that the producers had mercy on our dress rehearsal audience and gave us a free pass on the dreaded hand-wave for which I am forever grateful as my arms would have surely fallen off after 6 1/2 ballads.

Here is both my behind-the-scenes account of my experience at the rehearsal along with my performance reviews:

The seats were filled with choir members of Debbie the Stage Manager's daughter, who apparently come every year. My 17-year old cousin and I were front row stage left, about a foot from the mark the contestants stand on during judging.

Paula's usual sit-in had a sit-in who at one point had a sit-in. The main substitute for the night worked very hard to come up with Paula-isms, saying that Archie was like "when cotton candy hits your tongue," Kristy was like "hot chocolate...voice rich and smooth and warm" and Jason was like "the fresh feeling after it rains."

We filmed the contestant line-up package for the results show first, which is always awkward for everyone involved. DC was chatting with Carly throughout and said "We've got to figure out this 'David' thing...(I don't want people saying) No, the other one!" Kristy was running through her lyrics quietly, Archie and Jason kept shyly thanking their screaming fans, Syesha danced and mimicked Ryan a bit and Brooke had to go get her body mic adjusted and come back.

Archie took the stage to perform "When You Believe" and turned in a solid vocal, better and less breathy than the one shown on TV. We were laughing at his whole giddy "I'm not worthy" video clip which probably made him more nervous. When he was done the teenyboppers in front reached up to try and touch him and he whispered, "I'm sorry, I can't. I'm not allowed" which of course made me wonder if it was a new AI rule or Papa A's. After seeing everyone but Jason make a point not to reach down I've come to the conclusion that it's an attempt to cut down on germs since this season has been battling more sicknesses than any other. (As for why Jason did it, I think he just forgot...he slapped a few hands before his performance, said "I'll get the rest after the show" and then didn't.)

In both Carly's and Brooke's rehearsal interviews they were instead asked what it was like to meet Mariah and both gushed about how sweet and nice and pretty she is. Yawn. We knew from spoilers that Carly would be singing "Without You" and were looking forward to it. She nailed it in rehearsal and it was actually my favorite performance of the ones I saw in person. It's too bad things fell apart during the live show.

Syesha looked great in her gold dress. She seemed like she was holding back a little in rehearsal (trying to "save" her voice) and I don't think the song "Vanishing" particularly did her any favors, but it could be because I expected more from her than the others seeing as how it's DIVA week and all. Methinks Syesha might be vanishing from the lineup come results time. Oh, and I'm pretty sure we passed her parents on the way out of the studio.

So Brooke's cardboard cutout stand-in for her sister's wedding didn't become a reality, huh? You'd think AI would have one lying around that could have been donated to the cause. I cringed a little when I heard she'd be singing "Hero" because I consider it one of the best in the Mariah songbook. She tried, but the best part about this for me was her sparkly lounge singer dress. She kept her shoes on during rehearsal and then said she had wanted to kick one off but didn't have time. I again saw she and Carly's husbands on the way out (this time they were talking to each other).

Much to both my amazement and chagrin, Kristy's rendition of "Forever" in rehearsal was amazing, and my second fave behind Carly. Then she went all pitchy on TV, and it wasn't nearly as good.

Rumor has it that my faux-boyfriend is cheating on me with Lacey Schwimmer of SYTYCD, but he tried to make it up to me with a flurry of gestures for all to see from across the room. He was making fish-faces into the camera for his practice "coming up next" clip up on the rafters and when he finished he turned and saw me waving to him. He pointed at me in a "hey you!" fashion, waved, smiled, and made a funny face causing my cousin (who is not easily impressed, mind you) to exclaim, "OH MY GOD! HE TOTALLY MADE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU!" To which I coolly replied, "Yeah, I always get at least a wave" and then became the envy of everyone in my section. Anyway, D-Cook put a spin on "Always Be My Baby" that I don't think anyone saw coming and I appreciated the fact that he was the only one to put a beat behind at least half of his half-song. His tears during the live performance brought me to tears, as it was truly heartwarming to see his terminally ill brother in the audience (and a relief that there was no sign of The Other Woman).

Some girls in the rehearsal audience started asking Jason interview type questions before his performance of "I Don't Wanna Cry" like "How old are you?" and "Did you ever take singing lessons?" As most of us already know, he's 21, but as for the second question he said: "No...not really. Well, I took some last summer. But only like four. I just wanted to see if I was doing the right stuff...and I was. Except for breathing. I never do that right." He did some vocal warm ups and then turned in a pretty flat performance. I was distracted by his old beat up white dress shoes paired with striped blue and grey socks--so random.

* * *

B-3 prediction: Syesha, Carly and Brooke with Sy on the fly.

So, which David do you think will be given the dubious task of choosing the "bottom three" group as all top vote-getters during top 7 week have done before him? My money's on Cookie.

Mariah will be performing her new single "Bye Bye" on the results show and Elliott Yamin is also scheduled to perform but his song choice has not been revealed.

Idol Headlines ~ 4/14/08

Rupert Murdoch and his wife hosted an Idol Gives Back afterparty Wednesday at their home and the top 8 contestants were in attendance. (Pictured right)

Adam Cook to be in the Audience this Week

How Brooke Attended Her Sister's Wedding

Idol Winners Featured on Postage Stamps

Britney's Donation to IGB

Ryan Seacrest & Sophie Monk: Dating?

Leona Lewis to Perform "Bleeding Love" on April 23rd (Top 6 Results Show)

American Idol Songwriter Contest ~ Vote

It's that time of year again...time to sort through the pile of drivel (aka the 20 "best" songs) and vote for the most tolerable (aka the song your next American Idol will be saddled with, like it or not).

All of the songs sound like they were either written for Archie, He-Cook or She-Cook, with the exception of "Believe" which is R&B and doesn't work for any of them.

I recommend that you listen to the clips over at Rickey's blog before heading to vote because it's easier to sort through them that way. Voting ends April 23rd.

Since I'm rooting for David Cook FTW, my choices are as follows:

1) "You BelieveD in Me" (Not to be confused with "You Believe in Me") - The songwriter himself hit up the Word Nerds for votes because he knows its a good fit for our boy.

2) "Overcome"

3) "The Time of My Life"

4) "Align"

My pick for the WORST song is:

"Dream Big" - Not only does it have the worst title ever, but it's written for a female and we all know that ain't gunna happen.

What do you think of these songs? Any better than last year's choices?

Song Suggestions: Mariah Carey Theme

Next week the top 7 will be singing Mariah Carey songs according to FOX's official press release. There was a rumor that the contestants would be limited to Mariah #1's, however Carly's song choice has leaked and it confirms that, a) they are NOT limited to her #1's, and b) as with Dolly week, they can do songs Mariah merely covered.

And yes, American Idol is personifying hypocrisy by choosing this theme when contestants are always told not to attempt to cover Mariah, Whitney and Celine.

I can tell you right now that the b-3 will contain our weakest vocalists: Kristy, Brooke, and Jason with *fingers-crossed* She-Cook getting the boot since there's no way in hell Mimi will allow her to countrify one of her songs.

Here are my song suggestions:

Carly: Since we already know what Carly's singing and I agree that it's a good choice for her, I won't suggest anything else, and I'll post her spoiler in the comments section.

He-Cook: The Word Nerds have come to a general consensus that our boy should sing "My All" however I do not concur. Fortunately Mariah covered Journey's "Open Arms" so I'm going with that.

She-Cook: I'm suggesting "Fantasy," my strategy being that we don't want to hear Kristy attempt a diva ballad and she doesn't do as well with upbeat songs so it's a win-win.

Archie: I expect something along the lines of "Hero" or "Open Arms" but find "I Don't Wanna Cry" well-suited to him and am therefore going with that.

Diva Wannabe: Talk about a silver platter. Syesha could do ANYTHING in the Mariah songbook and be safe. Because I don't want to hear another diva ballad I'm suggesting the more current and upbeat R&B stuff like "We Belong Together" and "Don't Forget About Us."

Castro: Oh Jason, I'm sorry. Think you could swing an acoustic version of "Hero"? That's the best I could come up with.

Brooke: "Music Box" works for me. Good luck!

As for our recently ousted Aussie who belonged in the top 7, AI's gift to you is that you will not have to sing a Mariah song. (Although I'm told he was going to go with something bluesy.)

What would you like to hear? What wouldn't you like to hear? And how many diva "moments" do you think Mimi will have on the show? I'm guessing at least six...

It Was the Vest.

Un-freaking-believable.

MJ doomed himself by wearing a black vest on performance night, and Carly saved herself by wearing a grey one tonight.

The Idol InVESTigators have been following this story for awhile now.

Michael's only crime was thinking he was above the black vest of doom.

And of course being made to go first.

Oh, and letting those feral cats emerge from his throat on Tuesday.

Okay, and being mediocre until two weeks ago.

Nevertheless, I am sick to my stomach over his elimination.

There will be no recap tonight my friends. In fact, I don't expect to write one at all.

Idol Gives Back Extravaganza (Otherwise Known as "The Miley Cyrus Special")

Get ready to open your hearts and your wallets America, because This. Is. Idol. Gives. Back!

The 2 1/2 hour show opens with a performance by approximately 20 of the "So You Think You Can Dance" dancers from all three seasons (Schwimmers! Nick! Travis! Danny! Pasha! Anya! Cedric! Lauren! Dmitry! Hok! Dominic!) who are joined by our top 8 to do Rihanna's "Don't Stop the Music." The dancers get more screen time than the singers, who step to the side to repeat "GoStayMamaShopGoStopGoShop" over and over again (no lyrics for that part on Rihanna's official site, so I guessed). Why on earth a song about being naughty and going out to party was chosen to be performed on a charity show focused on helping impoverished children I don't know. I've heard that Nigel and Co. are flirting with the idea of having the SYTYCD crew join the top 10 on the Idols Live! tour this summer. I'd be all for this idea, except it looks like Lacey Schwimmer is trying to move in on my man...

Nascar Champion Jimmy Johnson (never heard of him) wants you to call in to give back. (Midwestern Nascar-loving demographic, check.)

Time for the first commercial break. One of my fellow recappers took the time to count the commercials on Tuesday's one-hour broadcast, which stacked up to a shocking and disturbing 52 ads. Which means that we should see a whopping 130 ads during this charity event.

Funnyman George Lopez makes his plea for pledges en espanol. (Comedy-loving Spanish-speaking demographic, check.)

Kylie Minogue then asks for your help. (Euro-pop demographic, check.)

Maria Shriver, California's First Lady, takes the stage along with over 100 volunteers wearing their corresponding t-shirts to talk about CA volunteer programs. Awesome. Learn how to become one of them at www.californiavolunteers.org (Assuming you live in Cali that is.)

We then get a video of Ben Stiller asking us to try to raise a gogillion dollars and talking about his latest attempt to give back (a failed album of Whitney covers, otherwise known as Syesha's songbook). He introduces a compelling video starring Jennifer Connelly in which dozens of people trudge the streets of NYC carrying plastic jugs to haul dirty water from Central Park back home to drink.

Snoop D-O-Double-G and Charlie Wilson then take the stage to perform "Can't Say Goodbye" with a group of kids. Wilson's hat is sparkly (I really want to see KLC show up to the results show in this hat), and even Snoop's mic has bling. (Gangsta rap demographic, check.)

Kobe Bryant has a huge bandaid on his face (who does he think he is, Nelly?). He wants us not to focus on it, but to instead dial 1-877-IDOL-AID. Sorry, can't stop staring at it. (Lakers fan demographic, check.)

Commercials, then a plea from WWE's Triple H (Who? Whoever he is, he sure needs to practice his teleprompter reading skillz) for calls. (Wrestling demographic, check.)

Pauler and Randy take the stage to talk about how nearly 1/3 of the kids in America are overweight or obese (and to not-so-subtly promote "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow"). They went to Goshen Elementary School to see the Save the Children program in action. I couldn't help but notice that for an area so impoverished, the woman they chose to interview sure had some expensive lookin' highlights.

A clip of Carrie Underwood and Mike from "Desperate Housewives" is shown where he pretends to be fixing the sink in her dressing room. His screen-wife Teri Hatcher catches them in the act and decides to retaliate by stealing Carrie's song. Teri, Mike, Chase from "House" and Shawn from "Felicity" (otherwise known as the Band from TV) then take the stage with "Before He Cheats." WTF? Who knew Chase could play the fiddle? Carrie comes out to congratulate Teri for butchering her song at the end. So horribly random.

Choreographer and SYTYCD judge Mary Murphy vows to "WAHOO!" us til we pick up the phone. Nigel begs us to hurry.

Commercials, then The Jonas Brothers get their turn to encourage calls. (Teenybopper demographic, check.)

Billy Crystal cracks some jokes and invites "Millie Serius" out for a bit where they pretend not to know who each other is.

Miley Cyrus then performs "Good and Broken" and I must say I've never seen a 15-year old girl work a mic stand like that. Go Hannah Montana! (My Hannah hates you because she gets teased for her name but that's okay. I like it that you're not a skank and you aren't afraid to work the stage.)

Donation update (or rather starting point): Sponsors have given over 15 million.

Over in the studio, the top 12 contestants (that's right, 12!) were manning the phones live. Because it would be too much to give them the night off. Actually, this was a brilliant idea that encouraged more donations. Oh to be Amy from MA who got to talk to my faux-boyfriend. If I didn't have a ridiculous phone phobia (I get super nervous when calling anyone, including my own mother) I'd have tried calling him myself. Hannah wanted to talk to Amanda Overmyer and bugged me about it until she fell asleep around nine. And how boring must it have been to be in THAT audience watching the contestants take calls for a couple hours?

Bono went to Africa. We see a video of him talking to a 14-year old orphan who was born HIV-positive. He also speaks to a woman in charge of providing aid to those who have been orphaned because of AIDS and lost all three of her children to the disease.

Commercials, one of which is a celebrity-packed ad for Bono's charity, www.one.org

Julianne Moore wants you to give back. (Redhead-loving demographic, check.)

Fergie takes the stage to sing "Finally" with John Legend accompanying her on piano. Now THIS is an inspirational song. Fergie rocks the vocals and pleather, and finishes with a curtsy. She's Fergalicious.

Next, Heart jams some "Barrracuda." Fergie does a quick change and joins them to provide some sex appeal and some one-handed cartwheels. Loves it.

John Cena (another WWE guy I never heard of) wants you to donate. Commercials, then Adam Sandler and his dog get their turn to beg. (WWE and Comedy-loving demographics, double-check.)

Time to check in with the Idols in the studio. Syesha wants us to call her. Kristy's caller wants Ryan to blow a kiss into the camera. Ryan is squeamish over the idea, seeing as the caller is female.

Eli and Peyton Manning went to their hometown of New Orleans to see how kids are working to rebuild what Katrina took away. (Football-loving demographic, check.)

The Beckhams want us to give back. Man they are a hot couple! (British and soccer-loving demographics, check.)

Donation update: Close to $18 million. Ryan jumps around the stage weaving inbetween the contestants like a madman.

More footage of Bono in Africa with children orphaned by AIDS. One boy holds on to the memory of his parents with a memory box he created.

Annie Lennox went to South Africa to meet with a family of four orphaned brothers whose ages range from 15 to three. She takes them all to get tested for HIV, and fortunately they are all negative. (Didn't know First Response made an HIV test.) Upon returning the family to their home, Annie breaks down in what is probably the most heartwrenching moment of the show.

Annie then takes the stage to perform "Many Rivers to Cross" while accompanying herself on piano. I love that she wore an HIV Positive T-shirt.

Jack Bauer wants us to give back. And watch 24.

Celine Dion went to South Africa to see how some of last year's funds have been spent. Apparently the money was to be donated over a period of two years, so even though we've logically already well surpassed the $76 million raised last year (what with $80 million being spent on malaria nets alone and all), we're not done yet. Explain to me how this is possible, Nigel. SB wants answers.

Jimmy Kimmel has been assigned the task of introducing Simon, but decides to attack his wardrobe, man-boobs, hair and Britishness first. What a tool.

Simon went to NYC to meet with an impoverished and health-challenged family who relies on mobile medical units funded by IGB. There are 50 million children in America who do not have health insurance. Simon takes the stage and gives Kimmel the what for by declaring his love for the Jay Leno show. Go Simie!

Carrie Underwood then performs "Praying for Time." As usual, she looks and sounds great but performs like a fembot.

Whoopi Goldberg wants us to empty our pockets. (Who-doesn't-like-Whoopi demographic, check.)

Ellen DeGeneres, who jokingly refers to herself as Oprah (speaking of which, where IS Oprah?) filmed a clip since she couldn't come back to co-host this year. No declaration of a big donation this year, but we still love her.

Gloria Estefan, Sheila E. and some of the SYTYCD dancers storm the stage with "Get on Your Feet" and it's all very colorful but not-so-good. (Latin demographic, check.)

Sarah Silverman is pretty funny. She pretends to critique Gloria's performance, then intros a video of Forest Whitaker and his wife's journey to Angola. This clip is sponsored by Exxon Mobile in the fight against malaria which can be prevented by $10 mosquito nets and treated with $2 pills.

The Prime Minister of Great Britain then decides to mop the floor with us Americans by donating a whopping $200 MILLION DOLLARS! The total goal for IGB was only $100 million. He has a stipulation though - all the money will go towards malaria nets. Gordon Brown is my new hero. First he shows us all up on our country's broadcast, then he lists his conditions. Long live the Queen!

We're up to $22 million in pledges, not counting Britain's $200 million which brings the total to $222 million. This is the last update we get for the rest of the night, so you'll have to tune into the results show for a more accurate total, though donations will continue to trickle in over the coming weeks.

Keith Urban says call now. (Country music demographic, check.)

Reece Witherspoon went to New Orleans to see how the Children's Defense Fund conducts Freedom School programs.

Back in the studio, the top 8 perform "Seasons of Love" from RENT, so that the studio audience actually gets to see something interesting. It's easily the best contestant song of the night, and the perfect song choice. The only thing that would have made it better is if they had them line the stage with spot lights as they do in the play/film instead of having them gather around the piano. Kinda sucks that they didn't allow the rest of the top 12 to join in since they were there, especially since David Hernandez auditioned for RENT recently. And Brooke was the only one who didn't get a true solo, although she can be heard above the others at the end.

Dane Cook is on hand to introduce a video Alicia Keys made of her journey to Africa with the Keep a Child Alive program. 13 million African children are orphaned, and grandparents are losing their children to AIDS and having to raise their grandchildren who are left behind. A full-length version of the video can be downloaded free from iTunes.

Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens are on set of "High School Musical 3" but made a video to show their support and encourage kids to donate as well.

Miley Cyrus takes the stage again to perform "See You Again" complete with lasers, malfunctioning fog machines and male dancers (can't tell if they're SYTYCD boyz or not). I didn't know that she sang this song (although now I hear her name is actually part of the lyrics, duh!) and I must admit I kinda like it.

We then see a video of Miley and daddy Billy Ray visiting his hometown in the Appalachian Mountains. About 50% of residents live below the poverty line and can't afford books. The Cyrus's spend some time with the Henson family and encourage them to pursue their dreams.

Robin Williams does a bit where he pretends to be the winner of Russian Idol and comes to audition for the judges. He wears a ridiculous outfit (picked up at Elton Johns garage sale) and cracks jokes a million times funnier than Billy Crystal's.

Rob Schneider wants you to call and donate money to IGB, or just give some to him.

Tyra Banks says it's fierce to help people in need (and reminds me that I forgot to tape ANTM. Damn, why couldn't her clip have come earlier in the show?)

David Spade decides to skip being funny and get down to business. He intro's a video of Brad Pitt surveying some of the damage that still remains in New Orleans three years after Hurricane Katrina. 275,000 homes were damaged or destroyed and over 200,000 people remain displaced to this day. Pitt and Bill Clinton are shown working with the Make it Right organization.

The crowd goes wild as Pitt himself takes the stage (anyone else think he looks a bit like a cancer victim in that hat?) Pitt's body mic doesn't work and Debbie the stage manager (go Debbie!) comes out to replace it, saying, "I just needed an excuse to touch him." When I heard this happened I figured they'd edit it and make him re-enter the way they did Reece but I guess they decided to leave it in since it was funny. It's Brad's job to introduce a video of Daughtry in Uganda.

2 1/2 years ago, Chris Daughtry was an unknown working in a car dealership. Now he's the lead of the biggest-selling band of last year and is being intro'ed by Brad friggin' Pitt. THIS is why I love American Idol. Daughtry recorded a music video to "What About Now?" in the same style as last year's "I'll Stand By You" video which Carrie Underwood did. As with all of the celebrity performances featured on the special, you can purchase the audio and/or video and the money will be donated to IGB.

Diva extrordinaire Mariah Carey takes the stage to sing "Fly Like a Bird" with Randy Jackson on bass. She's got a wind machine and a choir, but is dressed in a simple tank and jeans (although her boobs look spectacular!) Mariah hits notes that only Mariah can hit, bit it's otherwise a pretty underwhelming performance.

And finally, the top 8 is back to perform "Shout the the Lord" in all-white, with the choir and SYTYCD dancers behind them. (Why oh why must they ALWAYS put Cook and Cook next to each other? WHY!?!?) I didn't like it that they chose to do a worship song, but after last week's episode of Idol Goes to Church I felt we got off easy. Confetti flies, they do the Idol side-step and we're done.

...Not quite. Ben Stiller runs onto the empty stage back at the studio looking for some confetti action. Sigh.

I watched my local news to see Teri interview the top 8 about their experience with IGB. Archie took a pledge for $3 and when asked what his experience with the celebrities was like, He-Cook replied, "they were all very down-to-earth...for the most part." (Any guesses as to who he was referencing? *Mariah:cough:Mariah*)

Here's what was cut from the show:

- Videos from presidential canidates Obama, Hillary and McCain. Apparently the quality of McCain's video was poor and Nigel apologized before showing it at the ticketed event on Sunday.

- John Legend's performance of "Show Me."

-Dolly Parton's video package.

- A performance by Maroon 5. At least there's a ton of pictures of Adam Levine singing amongst the event pictures (maybe it will air at a later date?)

And finally, I'd like to offer up a few of my own suggestions to those who would like to help make the world a better place:

-Visit www.freerice.com regularly. You can generate donations of free rice to starving children in minutes a day with just a few clicks of your mouse.

-Consider going vegetarian (or at least giving it a try). Not only will it benefit your health and the envioronment but it's a step against ending world hunger and vegetarians save the lives of more than 100 animals per year. Hannah and I made the switch a few months ago and I can't tell you how easy and rewarding it's been. Visit www.goveg.com for more information, or send me an e-mail.

-And lastly, whenever donating to a charity please take a moment to make sure it does not fund or support animal testing, as you'd be surprised at how many do. I don't think any of the IGB programs are culprits, but major organizations like The March of Dimes and the American Cancer Society are. Please don't allow your charitible dollars to inadvertantly contribute to the cruelty of animals, for tests which only prove to be inconclusive. PETA offers a great, free pocket-sized list of charities that do and do not support animal testing for easy reference (also viewable at www.peta.org).