The Black Vest of Doom Strikes Again

It's Wednesday, which means Ryan is dressed in his undertaker's suit in memoriam of the soon-to-be axed contestant.

This. Is. American. Idol. Wave to the judges! (Paula looks especially good tonight.)

This week's group song has Andrew Lloyd Webber behind the piano as the top 6 perform "All I Ask of You." It is not particularly memorable, as there are no chest bumps, butt bumps, rockstar kicks or Idol side-stepping.

This summer's Idols Live! Tour will kick off in Glendale, AZ, home of our current Idol Jordin Sparks, and finish in Tulsa, OK the current residence of our next American Idol David Cook. (Coincidence? I think not.)

Roll recap footage from the previous night's performances.

Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber is then asked to join Ryan in the uncomfortable chat chairs which also moonlight as the b3/b2 stools of doom, which I find amusing. ALW is such a unique and strange-looking individual that it is quite awkward to watch him for say, more than a second. (My co-worker asked me if he was special or just eccentric. I wasn't quite sure of the answer. Mad genius?) He is asked about Brooke's re-start, Jason's off-the-wall song choice and what he'd call a love song written for Simon and Pauler.

Commercials, including this week's Ford Video which is set to the tune of "Tainted Love" as sung by the fabulous Danny Noriega (I wish). Archie plays a comic book artist whose superhero drawings of the other Idols come to life. Everyone has weird hair and Jason gets a chin tattoo that was literally inspired by Carly's husband Tom.

Fantasia postage stamps are on sale now with proceeds benefiting IGB.

Then the President and the First Lady thank us for helping raise over $65 million for IGB in a video clip.

Time for some results. "The David's" are called center-stage. Cook is asked why he didn't change the arrangement of "Music of the Night." The answer is: so as not to be predictable. Archuleta is not called out on forgetting the lyrics at any point, yet we hear about Brooke's blunder at least four times. The David's are safe, Simon is eating and Castro is yawning.

More commercials, then roll tape of previous Idols who have made it big on Broadway. Diana DiGarmo, Fantasia and LaKisha Jones (who's in the audience) have already had their time in the spotlight, but so we focus on two previous contestants who are currently making curtain calls: Tamyra Gray is starring as Mimi in RENT (I really have got to see this) and Clay Aiken is performing in Spamalot. Both are happy and well, and Clay's newest album drops May 6th.

Time for the performance I've been most looking forward to, as new pop sensation Leona Lewis takes the stage with the hit "Bleeding Love." My BFF, who is a DIEHARD Kelly Clarkson fan recently admitted that Leona's version of "Without You" blew Kelly's out of the water, which is just one example of how awesome this chick is. Leona has freakin' fire ignite on the stage which makes Miley's malfunctioning fog machines and Mariah's glittery mic stand look like toys in comparison. I have got to download this album.

We continue on in our Noah's Ark style elimination, as the contestants are summoned two-by-two. It's Syesha and Brooke's turn in the spotlight, Brooke proves that she's aware of her new nickname, and my theory that sympathy votes might save her is correct. She is safe, Syesha is in the b2.

Commercials, then the final two contestants learn their fate. Even though he had a rough night, Jason is safe and Carly (who gave her obnoxious T-shirt to a kid because it was too ugly to actually wear) joins Syesha in the b2.

Both are asked to sing, and Syesha proves that an outfit and some choreography CAN make a difference as--while the vocals are about the same--her reprisal of "One Rock 'n Roll Too Many" is nowhere near as captivating.

After over 38 million votes, it is Irish Eyes and her doomed black vest who is bid adieu. Roll tape of her journey, which includes at least three shots of her buddying up with Brooke. Forgive me, but at no point do I remember those two EVER acting chummy--they are about as different as night and day. Methinks it's an editing trick to try and sway some of Carly's votes Brooke's way, which is pretty ridiculous considering their differences and the fact most of the Fighting Irish have already pledged to vote for D-Cook since they are actual friends with similar musical styles. Carly takes it all in stride in what is one of the classiest exits ev-ah. Go Carly!