The Great Amanda Overmyer once said, "Ballads are boring, man."
Unfortunately, our Super Seven don't seem to agree.
Welcome to Snoozapalooza, aka Mari-UGH night.
I am pleased to report that the producers had mercy on our dress rehearsal audience and gave us a free pass on the dreaded hand-wave for which I am forever grateful as my arms would have surely fallen off after 6 1/2 ballads.
Here is both my behind-the-scenes account of my experience at the rehearsal along with my performance reviews:
The seats were filled with choir members of Debbie the Stage Manager's daughter, who apparently come every year. My 17-year old cousin and I were front row stage left, about a foot from the mark the contestants stand on during judging.
Paula's usual sit-in had a sit-in who at one point had a sit-in. The main substitute for the night worked very hard to come up with Paula-isms, saying that Archie was like "when cotton candy hits your tongue," Kristy was like "hot chocolate...voice rich and smooth and warm" and Jason was like "the fresh feeling after it rains."
We filmed the contestant line-up package for the results show first, which is always awkward for everyone involved. DC was chatting with Carly throughout and said "We've got to figure out this 'David' thing...(I don't want people saying) No, the other one!" Kristy was running through her lyrics quietly, Archie and Jason kept shyly thanking their screaming fans, Syesha danced and mimicked Ryan a bit and Brooke had to go get her body mic adjusted and come back.
Archie took the stage to perform "When You Believe" and turned in a solid vocal, better and less breathy than the one shown on TV. We were laughing at his whole giddy "I'm not worthy" video clip which probably made him more nervous. When he was done the teenyboppers in front reached up to try and touch him and he whispered, "I'm sorry, I can't. I'm not allowed" which of course made me wonder if it was a new AI rule or Papa A's. After seeing everyone but Jason make a point not to reach down I've come to the conclusion that it's an attempt to cut down on germs since this season has been battling more sicknesses than any other. (As for why Jason did it, I think he just forgot...he slapped a few hands before his performance, said "I'll get the rest after the show" and then didn't.)
In both Carly's and Brooke's rehearsal interviews they were instead asked what it was like to meet Mariah and both gushed about how sweet and nice and pretty she is. Yawn. We knew from spoilers that Carly would be singing "Without You" and were looking forward to it. She nailed it in rehearsal and it was actually my favorite performance of the ones I saw in person. It's too bad things fell apart during the live show.
Syesha looked great in her gold dress. She seemed like she was holding back a little in rehearsal (trying to "save" her voice) and I don't think the song "Vanishing" particularly did her any favors, but it could be because I expected more from her than the others seeing as how it's DIVA week and all. Methinks Syesha might be vanishing from the lineup come results time. Oh, and I'm pretty sure we passed her parents on the way out of the studio.
So Brooke's cardboard cutout stand-in for her sister's wedding didn't become a reality, huh? You'd think AI would have one lying around that could have been donated to the cause. I cringed a little when I heard she'd be singing "Hero" because I consider it one of the best in the Mariah songbook. She tried, but the best part about this for me was her sparkly lounge singer dress. She kept her shoes on during rehearsal and then said she had wanted to kick one off but didn't have time. I again saw she and Carly's husbands on the way out (this time they were talking to each other).
Much to both my amazement and chagrin, Kristy's rendition of "Forever" in rehearsal was amazing, and my second fave behind Carly. Then she went all pitchy on TV, and it wasn't nearly as good.
Rumor has it that my faux-boyfriend is cheating on me with Lacey Schwimmer of SYTYCD, but he tried to make it up to me with a flurry of gestures for all to see from across the room. He was making fish-faces into the camera for his practice "coming up next" clip up on the rafters and when he finished he turned and saw me waving to him. He pointed at me in a "hey you!" fashion, waved, smiled, and made a funny face causing my cousin (who is not easily impressed, mind you) to exclaim, "OH MY GOD! HE TOTALLY MADE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU!" To which I coolly replied, "Yeah, I always get at least a wave" and then became the envy of everyone in my section. Anyway, D-Cook put a spin on "Always Be My Baby" that I don't think anyone saw coming and I appreciated the fact that he was the only one to put a beat behind at least half of his half-song. His tears during the live performance brought me to tears, as it was truly heartwarming to see his terminally ill brother in the audience (and a relief that there was no sign of The Other Woman).
Some girls in the rehearsal audience started asking Jason interview type questions before his performance of "I Don't Wanna Cry" like "How old are you?" and "Did you ever take singing lessons?" As most of us already know, he's 21, but as for the second question he said: "No...not really. Well, I took some last summer. But only like four. I just wanted to see if I was doing the right stuff...and I was. Except for breathing. I never do that right." He did some vocal warm ups and then turned in a pretty flat performance. I was distracted by his old beat up white dress shoes paired with striped blue and grey socks--so random.
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B-3 prediction: Syesha, Carly and Brooke with Sy on the fly.
So, which David do you think will be given the dubious task of choosing the "bottom three" group as all top vote-getters during top 7 week have done before him? My money's on Cookie.
Mariah will be performing her new single "Bye Bye" on the results show and Elliott Yamin is also scheduled to perform but his song choice has not been revealed.
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