More Tears as Four More are Sent Home

The results are in, America. Is your favorite out? :::Cue music:::

After almost 31 million votes (up three million from last week), it's time to find out who didn't make the cut.

But first, say "hi" to the judges - The Dawg's in a paisley shirt, Paula's sporting a Ramiele-esque 'do and a see-through top, and predictably, Simon Scowl is in basic black. Seacrest takes a minute to address something we've all been wondering these past couple weeks - what's with Simon's new half-moose hand gesture? Simon says it's a secret code and basically he'll tell Ryan later...in the bedroom.

Time for the second sucky group song of the season - a medley of 70's hits which include "I Saw the Light," "Heartache," "The Things We do for Love" and "I Feel the Earth Move." Observations made during the group song are as follows:

-Michael looks hot but doesn't sound it

-David C. is wearing a tux print t-shirt like the one Blake wore last year, only it's even more fugly and faded (my great-uncle has one of these, and he's in his 80's)

-J-Cast should not ever wear a vest again (in fact, he shouldn't wear a shirt period)

-Not surprisingly, it's Archuleta who gets the biggest solo

-Kristy actually sounded good this time

-Amanda sucks on this one

-Ramiele (wearing high-waisted jeans) and Asia'h (minus the fake hair) make a Chikezie sandwich ("the McCheesy"?)

-Carrico's headkerchief is back (wonder why...tee hee)

-David H. (gay) and Alaina (jailbait) make for an unlikely duet couple

After the break, it's time to roll the recap tape from guy's night and get to the first cut. Back row is asked to stand and dismissed in this order: Michael - SAFE, Chikezie - SAFE, Castro - Fake-out that made my heart skip a beat, then SAFE. Yeager and Noriega - one of you is SAFE, the other is going home. Drumroll please...Jason, you're out please come to the center of the stage and don't forget to bring your dignity with you. After a boring speech from the Yeagermeister and Simon, Jason gives a very Six Flags performance of "Long Train Runnin' (Without Love)" again, and again, it is not worth watching. Ryan tries to get us to study the front row where the next guy to be ejected should be, but they've all crowded around Yeager to say their "see ya laters" so it's no use.

Next we crush the hopes and dreams of a young lady. After rolling the tape, Seacrest follows the same format: Back row up, Kristy - SAFE, Asia'h - SAFE, Brooke - SAFE, Cruella and Lushington - it's down to you. Alexandrea gets the axe and decides to shoot the messenger - she physically shrugs Ryan's arm off of her and calls him a freak. Oh-kay. Archuleta cries because he's known her since their Star Search days and in an interesting twist it's SHE who comforts HIM. But not until after she's bored us with "If You Leave Me Now" again, which is example #162 of a song that foreshadowed a contestant's departure.

Then it's time to lose another girl, this time from the front row. Carly - SAFE, Ramiele - SAFE, Syesha - SAFE. Two interchangeable blondes that remain, please step forward. We're all geared up to say goodbye to Kady Spears when it's Alaina Underwood that gets the boot! (The foreshadowing for this appeared in the video recap when Simon's "dark horse" comment was re-played - Idol editors love it when Simon's wrong.) Alaina shrieks "I CAN'T SING!" in horror and Ry gives her some time to pull it together by deferring to Paula for comment. Noriega cries. Despite worrying that she's "going to sound horrible," the crowd convinces Alaina to sing and the girls crowd around for support. It's shaky at first but in the end Carrie Jr. ends up sounding more composed than when the real Carrie sang her victory song.

Ryan teases us with the promise of "very important Idol news" which can mean anything from "we're cancelling the rest of the season and crowning Archuleta right now" to "the sex tape of Simon and I has just been leaked." It ends up being a slew of things--the top 12 will have a new set, new graphics and new exit song by Ruben, along with the chance to butcher Beatles songs. Also, they're going to start plugging IGB II now, as if the first installment wasn't hyped enough. Appearing at this years event will be Brad Pitt, Hannah Montana, Reece Witherspoon, Snoop Dogg, Daughtry, Mariah and Carrie Underwood. We are then forced to sit through ANOTHER commercial break which means we endured the last one only for a promo within the show. Sigh.

Time to make the final cut of the night. The front row of guys is asked to stand and predictably, it's Luke and Robbie who are called out with a goodbye to the fake rocker. The other Fallen Idols are trotted out to to watch their Idol Journey video, and Robbie reprises "Hot Blooded." Carly cries, and Jessi of So You Think You Can Dance is spotted in the red room clapping for Robbie who apparently used to be her dance partner. Also, for someone who claims he can't dance, David Hernandez sure does a lot of it.

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I am officially 5 and 8 on the predictions. How'd you rate?

Latest AI Gossip

-Season 5 contestant Ace Young releases a clip of his upcoming single and a video update on his MySpace page. Verdict: He's still trying to sound like JC Chasez and sucking at it.

-Amanda Overmyer's DUI (is it just me, or does she look an awful lot like Pickles with a wig in her mug shot?)

-Top 12 to perform Beatles Hits

-There is also a juicy rumor that Jason Yeager's son Nathan was conceived when Jason was 18 and Nathan's mom was 14, but no real article to back it up.

Hot & Not: Boys (Kinda) Rock the 70's

Guys, round two. Theme: The 70's (Bet you'll never guess what theme they're doing next week...) As with round one, there were only a few standout performances for the guys.

Michael Johns is up first (per Idol tradition the week after closing) with a very lukewarm rendition of Fleetwood Mac's "Go Your Own Way." He cups the mic and does a little of the C-Rich bouncy-bounce, but at least this time there is significantly less "hallelujah!" hand-raising. I thought the chorus suited his voice, but the rest of the song was almost unrecognizable. I think MJ would have benefited from being behind the guitar on this one, and it was definitely his worst performance to date. His "something-America-would-be-surprised-to-learn-about-me" video revelation is no news to the Aussie Posse: dude looks smashing in a pair of tennis shorts. C

Jason Castro admits his dislike for doing interviews in his getting-to-know-you video which will either be considered cute or annoying. I'm with the former, but I'm also a biased fan (who nevertheless can't bring herself to go by Castronaut or Dreadhead--two of the worst fanbase names ev-ah). JC sings Andy Gibb's "I Just Want to be Your Everything" while once again strumming (his own) guitar. There is nothing earth-shattering about this performance, but a playback reveals that there is also nothing really wrong with it either. I think he needs to go with a more dynamic song next week, but as for the guitar--that's just his thing, and I don't think he should be criticized for staying true to himself. B+

After announcing that he traveled around the world for six years with his a capella group Chapter 6, Luke Menard takes a huge risk with "Killer Queen" and (not surprisingly) fails to live up to the vocal god that was Freddie Mercury. I absolutely hate the tone of this guy's voice and the song was a pitchy, uneven train-wreck. Still, an improvement from last week, if only because it was "a ballsy" (even if Luke's sound as though they were in a vice). D

Robbie "I'm a Rocker, Damnit!" Carrico chats with Ryan about how there are "different levels of rock." While I agree with this statement, I also think that the term "rocker" doesn't apply to all of them, including Robbie's particular brand. His lead-in video shows him drag racing a car with one headlight (LOL), and then he takes the stage to rock (j/k!) Foreigner's "Hot Blooded" sans headkerchief. Though he spins the mic stand as all Idol "rockers" are wan to do and he wears the requisite wallet chain, the signature pop gestures he makes throughout the performance give him away. His spark from last week is gone, the vocal leaves something to be desired and he's got a serious case of bedhead. C-

Worster Danny Noriega dips into his lower register and stays there for most of The Carpenter's "Superstar" while looking more Jessica Alba than ever. I get that he's trying to prove he can sing to those who criticized his goofy Elvis impersonation last week, but this failed to hit the mark. Oh, and he mentioned he was in a punk rock band that only played one show. C-

David Hernandez opens up about his time as a gay stripper in his tell-all video. Actually he keeps that one to himself and instead educates us on his history as a gymnast (me too!) and the joys of wearing a leotard, which further backs the above claim on his sexual orientation. He then defies his pattern of annoying song choices with a smokin' hot rendition of "Papa was a Rollin' Stone" in a blazer with a built-in hoodie. Aside from some over-the-top gestures/moves, I loved this to the point where I may just have to plunk down 99 cents for the iTunes track (which would be a first for me, for it). A

In addition to singing poorly and looking like Val Kilmer, Jason Yeager also plays guitar, piano and drums. He gives another shout-out to his granny before taking the stage to give a showboat performance of the Dooby Brothers' "Long Train Runnin' (Without Love)." Can we just send him home now? D-

Chikezie schools us on the roots, the meaning, and the correct pronunciation of his Nigerian name but has yet to re-claim the Eze. He then follows in Elliott Yamin's footsteps with both his choice of Donny Hathaway's "I Believe to my Soul" and nod of recognition to Hathaway's daughter Kenya, who is one of the backup singers. His vocals are on-point and the delivery miles better than last week, but as my BFF Maya points out, "he's always dressed for the wrong decade"--this time opting for an 80's themed outfit complete with funky hot pink wristbands. Still, his latest stab at Simon's revolving wardrobe made me laugh. A

David Cook is a self-proclaimed "Word Nerd"--a revelation Simon thinks will hurt him, however I find the opposite to be true. David just became more interesting in my book by defying the stereotype that surrounds him. He turns out a solid performance of "All Right Now" and shows that he really knows how to work the crowd. My only advice is to lose the facial fur and work on further improving his look, because he's otherwise on the right track. A

David Archuleta proves that he's a power vocalist during sharing time with the video of him singing "And I'm Telling You" for Kelly Clarkson which many of us have already seen on YOUtube. He then proves it again with a chillingly solid performance of John Lennon's "Imagine," which like all of the other songs David's done on AI, he previously sang on Star Search. The arrangement is completely different than the original (and inferior in my opinion) and David chooses to sing the lesser known third verse because it's his favorite. Also, it is painfully obvious (and annoying) that the producers are trying to create Beatlemania for David with his legion of cheering fans and choice of a Lennon song. Paula cries and expresses the desire to decapitate the poor kid whose looking very Clay Aiken in his choice of jacket. A

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And that's it for part 1 of 70's week. I'd bank on Yeager and either Menard or Carrico being cut this week.